edlina & the lynns
The year is drawing to the close in 12 hours'. I had trouble penning any concrete words past weeks and asked God if "waiting has truly enlarges my spirit?" I definitely learnt many lessons in this faith module but how has my spirit grow?! PTL He answered me recently as I took up my pen to begin jotting down some random thoughts.

Faith was written in my heart when I walked in the spiritual storm in 1998 and spiritual desert in 1999. The breakthrough came when Nathalynn was born the same year.

2007 - Spiritual winter is almost over. Welcoming spring...a season of life and renewal. Maybe I am afraid, anxious what spring entails. The season of hibernation - a mixture of emotions. Somewhat a spiritual "hold" - its called "REST". In my term - Rejoice, Enjoy, Sing, Trust (in the Lord). The long awaited rest wasn't as easy when we are constantly challenged in a post-modern era to be productive. Taking a rest is a challenge to the inner man just as much from the external elements. Yet winter gives some kind of security. I am shielded from the harsh weather as long as I stay in.

A natural cycle in any season - at the end of winter, spring comes; and flowers bloom, birds sing and colours splash in. The new has come. The old has gone. I can't stay in any longer. Time to explore. Rest was created by God so we recharge and recreate. Recreation leads to reproduction. Reproduction is a process. Pain is inevitable. Memories of the labour room kept flashing back. After bearing 3 children and now expecting the 4th doesn't discount the fear of childbearing pain. I can see it. I can feel it. But the pain though remains in the memory bank is a phantom pain. For it is gone. The fruit has been enjoyed. The joy soothed it all. The pain was temporal. The joy everlasting.

I am reminded every breakthrough begins with a conception. Conception requires courage. Courage to bear forth. Conception takes time to grow. The process may seems long, uncomfortable and painful. The future is uncertain though I know I am spiritually and biologically pregnant. I feel heavy yet I have to endure. NO short cuts. I take a rest if I must, cried to the Lord, "Have mercy" and my journey continues...I look ahead to the day that I'll definitely see - the fruit of my "womb" I shall receive, because when the pain was at its highest intensity - I endure, I "PUSH" - because of God's promises I believe.

"Conceive, Believe, Recieve" (T.D.Jakes) in his book "Reposition Yourself" reminds me to keep pushing till there's a breakthrough. I welcome a new season. Winter is almost over, spring is here. I've so much to anticipate in my spiritual and biological pregnancies. I shall see my babies.

I believe in the beauty of womanhood and motherhood. God taught me what it means to continue believing after conceiving. And I certainly will receive if I learn to push when the pain is at the highest. Thank God for the gift of pain. No pain, no gain - the famous saying goes.

I am learning to grasp the deeper meaning of feminity. A beautiful woman is to bear forth the fruit of her "womb".
It calls for courage, consistency, composure and creativity.
It demands tenacity and toil.
She is one who is gentle outside and tough inside.
She is called "GEM": God-Empowered Maiden.
The Father calls her "precious and honoured in his sight...and he loves her" (Is.43:4)

I am a GEM in the Potter's House - continuosly in the remoulding and reshaping process. And I have three GEMs entrusted in my hands - in the making. Alongside there are also many GEMs in my life, together we will bear forth the fruit in our "womb" and the world shall taste and say it is good.
0 Responses