edlina's expressions

15/12/11 When I Wonder...In the Heat...

2011-12-15T11:23:00.004+08:00

I wonder...I don't know how...I don't even know "what we ought to pray" (Romans 8:26). But the words of the apostle Paul assures me that I can be absolutely sure of one thing, which is..."that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

When I am left wondering in uncertainty and in the heat of of a fiery furnace, I know I can rest in the knowledge that God is good and He is great!

10/12/11 My Quest in Life

2011-12-10T15:36:00.003+08:00

She was just a simple girl.
She loves to draw.

She loves to dance.
She loves to teach.
She wants to do her part in loving humankind.
She dreamed of marrying a good man,
raise their young - children of destiny.
She wants to continue loving the family she grows up in.
She dreams of a quiet simple life.

Along the journey, she met Jesus.

He changed the way she sees life, the way she loves, the way she thinks.
He sees a bigger potential in her.
Now he calls her, "mother of the city",
then he expands her heart for the nations.
She is humbled by his majesty,
empowered by his strength;
but deep inside her...
her quest remains the same - simplicity.
She can only do all these and remain simple when she
"seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given..."

That girl is me. To stay true to myself and my quest in life, I can only look to Jesus as he calls me, ²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

15/6/11 Resting in God's Love!

2011-06-15T12:29:00.006+08:00

Rest comes in many forms. For a busy stay home mum surrounded by endless noises of children, a quiet personal space is a luxury. I cannot have all my ideals. But God knows and takes care of all our needs. I am counting my blessings for every small and big gift coming my way.

All the excitement of coming to Singapore - it's here! We are here - in the Lion City. I am so excited for Ash and Nat. Their very first RAD Ballet Summer Camp. Being in a foreign land and flapping their new wings - they took off this morning by themselves to the ballet studio for their third day of camp. All geared up for more dance work on Mary Poppins. Sounds so fun! Their legs are surely strengthened by all the dancing and walking around the city.

The past days had been full days exploring different parts of the city and familiarizing with the routes. Pretty much of an adventure! Indeed a very convenient city. Impressed with the efficiency despite many visits here. The call is deepened every time I think of my own nation. We are called to make a difference and be agent of change. No matter how comfortable and convenient another place is - my call is to be part of the wave of transformation back home.

Thank Lord for opening my eyes - the eyes of my heart to the smallest thing that speaks volume of our generation and nation. I am positioned strategically for such a time like this. Here I am resting in his love. Here I stand for his higher purpose...

31/5/11 Thirteen Tremendous Years!

2011-05-31T10:28:00.005+08:00

Every year on this day, brings me back to my humble beginning as a mum.

Cuddling this tiny 2.3 kg load offered a lifetime of responsibility. I remember beaming with such joy yet so overwhelmed by the tremendous task set ahead of me. The scene of me sitting at the bedside of the maternity home holding this precious life still stays fresh. It was my enrolment into the School of Motherhood - one specialized school so uniquely tailored for every student, offers no certification nor graduation, but guarantees a huge load of work which requires diligence, patience, consistency and love - yes, lots of love! Many hours of sleepless nights, days of toil...AND I gladly willingly stepped into this school. After thirteen years, The Principal Teacher gave me added assignments - he added three more tiny loads, all not more than 2.5 kg as a start but power-packed with promising potentials to be yielded for his glory.

Today I watched my first tiny 2.3kg load transformed into a much bigger size than me, could even lift me up in the air, adorned in her all new attire from top to toe (gifts blessed by wonderful people) got ready for the day. She kissed me and went off with a smile, all ready for the youth conference for the next 3 days.

She is thirteen today! She is clothed with strength and beauty. Her name is Ashlynn.
She is a terrific, tremendous teen. I am proud to call her 'my daughter'.

HAPPY 13th BIRTHDAY, DEAREST ASH!

3/5/11 The Continuous Pursuit

2011-05-06T10:59:00.006+08:00

I hardly could sit in one position. I struggled to find the right angle to sit and sleep. I could hardly breathe properly. Every breath was an effort. The baby was growing. He was pressing down to my pelvic bone. The pain increased with the days. The intense discomfort made my fourth time mummy experience unbearable. But I endured. I would persist till the baby come in full term. He was God's handiwork woven in the fabric of my womb.

We could not stay still any longer. We were challenged to reposition. Repositioning required action. It demanded drastic and radical move. Joshua and the Israelites were commanded to "move out of their position and follow the presence of God." Then only they would know the direction clearly. The book of Joshua is a dangerous book to read. It is filled with intense passion, propelled by faith to release the power to achieve the impossibles. A seed has been planted in our spirit and had been brewing in the secret place for years. The time had come. We embraced it with strength and courage to protect the conception of this spiritual seed. There were shaking off old mindsets to fully understand the seriousness and intensity of God's call and commands. We were stripped bare of our comfort zone to cross over to the unknown. Then only would we see the power of God parting our "Jordan River". Indeed he did.

The physical babe we conceived, Ashton - strong fortress and the spiritual baby, Gateway City Church were God's favour and honour. He weaved both in our physical and spiritual womb at a significant time to amplify the seeds of his faithfulness, love, strength and power. These two are strong reminders of who our God is, and what he can do - he majors in impossibilities! The joy of at the end of the labour pain was guaranteed. My role was to PUSH - till I hear the triumphant cry! The cry of release of the impregnated seeds. To God be the glory!

Today Ashton turns 3. He is a visual reminder of GCC's milestone.

The saga continues...

2/5/11 Learning From Nature

2011-05-02T12:00:00.004+08:00

I saw. It flapped its wings. Flew low. I caught sight of its bright beautiful blue. And back to the power line, it perched and be still. My morning ritual of standing in front of my bedroom window was brightened up with the glow of a kingfisher. Simply beautiful sight. I had just prayed the day before that I wanted to marvel at the simplest finding. I want to learn like how little children learn. They just keep wondering and keep learning. They are thrilled by the simplest finding.

My conversation with the Lord was interrupted by the bird. It was as though God was saying, "Watch..." A peaceful quietness filled my heart that moment as I followed the moves of the bird. A little bird with a long beak, clothed with gorgeous blue and brown feathers. Simple tone but nevertheless, beautiful. Beauty in its simplicity.

I had been praying to be renewed like the eagle - strong and steady. Now I asked to be beautiful too. Lessons in birdwatching!

29/4/11 My Ultimate Teacher

2011-04-29T08:41:00.003+08:00

I sought every person I know who knows the subject.

I devoured every book my hand could lay on.
I was hungry. I was thirsty.
I wanted more. More of him. More of the truth.
There was a deep longing, for the deep calls for the deep.
I gathered some tips and good guidance along the way..."What and how to pray?"
But is it enough? The spiritual intimacy I craved could only be satisfied by the Ultimate Teacher. The Holy Spirit whispered to me, one day, "I will teach you..."
Where have those years gone? Seems like a glimpse.
Now, I am hungry and thirsty more than ever...and am looking to the Ultimate Teacher for his nuggets of wisdom for, God, you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. (Psalm 51:6, NIV)

Friends, who are you looking to for wisdom and teaching? Find your way to his heart and mind.

28/4/11 The Fourth Watch: God is Judge

2011-04-28T05:00:00.005+08:00

And the heavens proclaim his righteousness,

for God himself is judge.

(Psalm 50:6)

In response to God's call to arise in prayers and intercession, we assumed our gatekeepers' role by watching the 3 - 6 am slot monthly for the last one year, which we hope one day can be more regular. We are still learning in this act and art of seeking his heart and face in this wee hours. As we take baby steps, the Lord himself has been teaching us to yield our spirits to his.

This morning we proclaim his righteousness and his wise judgement over the land, blessing the land with his light and life.

Join us in unity to call down his glorious presence!

24/4/11 Easter Thought and Vision

2011-04-24T10:08:00.007+08:00

My heart longs for my Saviour King.

I asked intently that my eyes will see a new vision of the Cross.

A faint dark scene of Jesus being hung on the cross with his left side facing me. I wonder why this view. The scene is gloomy as he wrestled in his loneliness and pain while the noisy massive crowd looked on, but I couldn't really see them. But I saw him...on the Cross.

My heart is raised towards heaven and my lips broke into worship as I sang this song from Hillsong by Marty Sampson and Raymond Badham:

I search for You God of strength
I bow to You in my brokenness
And no other King could have so humbly come
To save my soul and heal my heart
I have nothing more than all You offer me
There is nothing else that’s of worth to me
And I love You Lord
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You’re all that I need
I pray to You God of peace
I rest in You my cares released
I have nothing more than all You offer me
There is nothing else that’s of worth to me
And I love You Lord
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You’re all that I need
In Your freedom I will live
In Your freedom I will live
I offer devotion, I offer devotion

I purposed in my heart to step and walk in the power of his resurrection.
What is God's message for you this Easter?

Swing by GEMS for more encouragement.

Be Strong and Courageous

2011-04-11T10:42:00.003+08:00

BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS!

This has been the tag line of the season - from the youngest to the oldest.

The book of Joshua trumpets this call. The charge has been given by God, the Mighty Warrior to the church.
My husband is a sure model of a contemporary Joshua. He preaches it, impart it, rally it, live it.

It is heard from the lips of the young. "Be strong and courageous. We are the Joshua kids."
It has been echoed in the floorball court, amongst the players even out of court.

We remind each other of this strong command when we are shaken.

We enthuse each other with the phrase whenever we meet.

It has been charged into our spirit.

Strength and courage are not two concrete elements we can purchase and possess in our hands. They are two internal elements we earned by walking in the unknown with only one absolute, God!

19/3/11 Floorball Heat

2011-03-19T20:28:00.004+08:00

The floorball heat is on, burning in my home where everybody - husband, daughters, siblings are active players and highly potential player, Ashton who owns his first stick now :)

The Penang Division 2 League kicked off this morning at Balik Pulau Stadium with a majority of new faces making their debut. Young fresh faces and passion that set the atmosphere with a new scent of floorball. Three all girls' team also make their way for the first time in court - all exuding the enthuasiasm of a good spirit. Bravo, girls!

Flashback: I hurried to put my two preschoolers to nap during siesta in Youth Camp 2002 @ Chefoo School, Cameron Highlands. All the youth were getting ready for a new sport. Ed returned from a sports conference in Hong Kong with a new vision and brought a brand new game, floorball back to be introduced. I rushed down to the scene of excitement to find that it was "game over". The putting the two lil' ones to nap took longer that I thought. I was stung with disappointment. I didn't get to try out after all the hoo haa.

God always has his way. His way is higher than my way. Always. I found out I was conceived with a new baby when we returned from camp. He spared me from all the falls and injuries which all these first timers suffered.

The rest was history. The vision and passion of floorball birthed in this man has taken the sports to state level and linking up to others who together grew the national level in a tangible way. Now he sits in the Asia-Pacific Floorball Development Committee.

Today I stood at the balcony of the stadium cheering my hearts out as I watched my two young teens (then were the preschoolers whom I had to put to nap) run and manoeuvred the ball with such great sporting spirit. I also watched with great delight the big pool of youngsters who fought fearlessly for the win. At the cheering end, my two lil' ones now, Ashton and Chrisa were also running around with their own sticks and having a go. High chances one day they will make their way into court too :) And me...hmm, despite all the encouragement to get on court for training, I definitely have no time for such intensive training, I shall remain as a great supporter - I watch and pray.

Nine years in the Penang scene, I am reminded of the impossible dream of a strong and courageous Dreamer. He stood at a new church plant overlooking a vast field almost two decades ago and told a young teenager boy, "I want to build a stadium for sports ministry." I've heard this so many times, and often laughed at him, "This is an impossible dream."

Today I am married to the Dreamer who is ever dreaming big and bigger dreams. I must applaud his determination and strategic mind. The biggest inspiration is how he handles every challenge and hiccup in this journey. I've watched him ploughed the land and planted the seed. He watered, watched as the seedling sprouted. He weeds and continue to grow it. It is a tedious task but he endures. Yes, I am proud of him and more so, proud of the Source of this vision and passion. He always chooses the right person.

For all the gungho floorballers, keep the vision! Fuel the passion!

18/3/11 The Song of Freedom

2011-03-18T18:12:00.004+08:00

The song of my heart the last couple of weeks...also asking the Father to sing over me again and again....

A song of freedom is on my lips
Today, today
I sing about the One I love

Today, today

All I can see is Your mercy
All I can feel is Your grace

Your love is so wonderful
Let all the people sing that
Our God reigns above all

by Hillsongs 2003

If you've missed my post The Songs of Life in Gems, let me ask you what song are you singing in your heart? If you find it hard to sing at present, what else do you want the Father to sing over you today?? Do share your songs in the Comment.

10/3/11 Joyful Chaos

2011-03-10T16:06:00.004+08:00

A child enters your home and makes so much noise for twenty years you can hardly stand it - then departs, leaving the house so silent you think you will go mad. - J.A. Holmes

My house was insanely noisy and I wished there was a moment of silence to keep my sanity, when my eye caught the saying above which was printed on the calendar of Focus on the Family. I instantly smiled to myself and felt so blessed that the home is so full - full of life! So I'd better enjoy the temporal mess and chaos for this season and not regret a single moment of it later :)

1//3/11 The Voice of Dance

2011-03-01T17:42:00.002+08:00

Thought-provoking: (above) Dancer-choreographer Aida Redza (with blindfold) performing "Stop it Now"- a dance against sexual crimes, with the children at 1st Avenue Mall, Penang (featured in The Star, 28/2/11)

‘Stop Sexual Crimes Against Children’ now - the message was amplified with a creative move by the children. The campaign was championed by the Penang Chinese Chamber of Commerce's Young Entrepreneur Section.

Dance has always been a big part of our lives especially for Ash and Nat. This is part of our contribution to the society using the gift of dance - urging for a safer world to live in. Hear the voice of the children through arts!

28/2/11 Good Morning!

2011-02-28T10:41:00.004+08:00

He rolled over me this morning.
His little soft hands stroked my face a few times.
He looked at me, and said, "Let's go eat bread."
He looked sweetly into my eyes and smiled the sweetest smile and pulled me up with all his might.
I was not quite ready to get off my bed, but he was too sweet to decline his offer.
Nowadays he will run into my arms and hold my face with both his chubby little hands, look me into my eyes with such a sparkle, then whispers, "my sweet girl." Then he rushes off to play again.
Yes, it is very random throughout the day. But these little gestures of my 2 1/2 year old is like heaven sprinkling joy dust on me.

The joy of the Lord is [my] strength. (Nehemiah 8:10)

Leave a comment and share what are the little things in life that brings you great joy that make your day counts. I'll love to hear you.

23/2/11 A Blessed Day

2011-02-23T17:54:00.004+08:00

I dragged myself out of bed after almost the entire night of lying awake. A promise is a promise. Our "school" in Youth Park this morning. A day out surrounded by nature is always welcoming. I love the simplicity of life - just observe nature, talk, play, learn, observe and think, explore and excite our senses. That's life. That's learning. That's loving - loving the people by connecting, loving nature, loving God by appreciating all these gifts.

Anytime, anywhere - just the park with lots of greens and running space and pool for water play...that's suffice to keep the children happy and contented.

While my mind was still full of thought-processing of being "strong and courageous" (from my previous post), the lure of nature and kids simply enjoying it was enough to call this day - blessed!

Leave a comment to let me know how has your day being blessed.

23/2/11 Lesson of the Day

2011-02-23T01:30:00.007+08:00

What does it really mean "to be strong and courageous...to be very strong and courageous"?

It's been a long day and night. A long chat with my Father. He seemed silent while I poured continously from my longing heart. My limited mind cannot contain the chain of thoughts which flooded in...all sort of concerns. I had known this is not an easy season, but God promised strength and courage. My mind understood it well but the heart is still finding its grip every now and then when the ride gets rough. My eyes need constant check to realign and focus. The focal point is the Cross. When it gets too difficult and painful, the reference point is Christ. He settled it on the Cross. How can I nullify that power? "But, God..." Before my train of thoughts chugged on in the dark of the night, he whispered, "Be strong and courageous. Be very strong and courageous." "I know. But like how?" I argued weakly.

The scene of the entire day took a quick flash. "Look at him," he spoke very gently.

Ashton was exploring his steps from his favourite stool to another chair (several trips) at breakfast while munching his cheese. I reminded him to sit. I must say it requires lots of energy to be consistent. Before I said again, he missed his steps and slipped in between those two seats. I hung on to his arm just in time but his right trunk hit the chair and he burst out in tears. He was soothed and cautioned for the umpteenth time this season.

Bath time was fun till he fell right on his back. He cried a bit and got right up and jumped into the tub again ready to continue the joy of the touch of water.

In between his play throuhgout the day he had some minor slips. He wasn't concerned.

In the evening at my parents', he dashed onto the sofa chair to hit himself on the metal rim at the side. It sounded bad. He burst into tears and showed me his hurting lower abdomen. Within a few seconds in my comforting arms, he freed himself to continue his neverending exploration.

Nothing deterred him despite the hits, falls and pain throughout the day. He regained his strength, speed and spirit instantly! He obviously, inevitably grow. The best part is - he enjoys it!

Tonight...hmm, already a new morning...Thank you, Lord for the lesson.

Friends, leave a comment and let me know your thoughts of "be strong and courageous...be very strong and courageous." What does it mean to you?

What A Beautiful Name

2011-02-22T21:20:00.004+08:00

I am blessed with such a beautiful name which means HEAVENLY. Thank you Dad and Mum!!!!

18/2/11 A Night to Remember

2011-02-18T15:54:00.006+08:00

Chrisa woke up this morning saying, "It feels like Chinese New Year just started!" but the 15 days' celebration ended last night. She went on, "I didn't feel it when it was the first day!" We rushed into the celebration - that's why she didn't feel the mood. We were not prepared in many sense. It has been a busy kick-start to 2011. Thus the whole January was on the go; one thing after another. So when the lunar new year arrived, we just jumped into the schedule of visitation. The whole chain exhausted us.

My tired body and mind kind of protested to the party initiated by my dear sister last night. The evening started slow with Ed getting the BBQ pit ready while it drizzled. "Oh no, not tonight," I whispered to heaven. I didn't know who to expect nor how many pax we were catering for as it was all Penny's effort. Friends gradually strolled in while the fire was still in the process. Soon everything just fell into place - good company and good food.

Laughter. The mark of a joyous mood.
Family and friends - and fabulous food. The reminder of God's gifts in my life.
Sparklers. A great way to rleax for our adult friends as they relived their childhood as they excitedly joined my children in lighting and playing these new year toy.

A round of group game wrapped up the night leaving young and old with joy and gladness.
Every occassion is only meaningful when we celebrate life with a tight community. The lunar new year closed well with God evidently in out midst. It is always good when God is in it:)

Creative Redemptive Moment

2011-02-12T12:53:00.004+08:00

I woke up this morning feeling more tired than I when I went to bed last night. A string of nagging thoughts interfered my rest. As much I know God grants his beloved children rest somehow rest was far from reach for me :(

Today I requested my man to take the whole troop out since he is already taking 2 girls for floorball training. He graciously agreed. My cherished moment with the girls 2 nights ago was one of the many creative redemptive moment. Now I am enjoying another one for this week. What I thought would be lost is redeemed creatively with the Lord. My pathetic night didn't lead to a pathetic day. My creative juice flows in the quietness of my personal space. I've to push some stop buttons so I can set aside some time now to prepare to speak into the lives of young people at GCC's first Youth Valentine's Party. I can't wait to share the Ultimate Lover.

Come and party with us in pink tonight at 7pm if you don't have any plan. See you at:

"The Atrium"
1-5-29 e-Gate,
Lebuh Tunku Kudin 2,
11700 Gelugor,Penang, Malaysia.

Call us for further info 016-4189511

Pink?? Yes, you read correctly. You can adorn yourself in any sort of pink in any way...pink shirt, pink tie, pink nails, pink accessories...or all the way pink!

11/2/11 Cherished Moment

2011-02-11T16:51:00.004+08:00

The techno bug just attacked the family. We are on a discovery mission of IT. I've always been the IT dummy. I love the conventional way of paper and pen. No matter how much I've seen what IT can do and the vastness of this field, I still love the paper and pen. Call me the "old fashion" girl if you want. The authenticity of penmanship is indescribable. Nevertheless, last night heaven granted us an opportune time. I thank God for IT.

One of my girls hit the bad mood scale and attempted to vent her frustration on the computer screen. It must be the Lord's prompting which led me to sit beside her and whispered a soothing word. The next thing - we were thrown into a sea of IT adventure. We spent the next 2 hours or so browsing the net and learning new things together. Another girl joined us almost immediately. Our girls' hang out was priceless - a time of giggles and laughter, the thrill of new discoveries. An unexpected turn from the ugliness of a bad mood to a cherished moment!

10/2/11 New!

2011-02-10T13:39:00.004+08:00

Announcing the new blogger in our family...Little Woman of Greater Faith

Chrisa has always wanted to be part of the blogging world. She has the most to say and many times wise words. Her faith is an inspiration to us. However, she will have to feel her way here as her typing can't match her vocal speed yet and also getting to know all the features available in the techno world. Be patient as you see her grow her blog. Another milestone in writing for the little woman who aspire to be an author one day :)

9/2/11 If I Were to Write One Book - Just One

2011-02-09T01:02:00.003+08:00

Life is indeed like a "box of colour pencils" to me like I just mentioned. In those pages of my life, there's still much to be coloured. In some pages I can't wait for them to be filled up beautifully. There has been a stirring in my heart to do so many things in this lifetime. I wonder if I will get to do them all.

Through the years of mothering I've been reading a lot to the kids and they have been pestering for some good personal stories to be retold in printing. So in our chats we have talked about some "books" to be published one day. One day.

Last night Ash asked me, "If you were to write just one book - just one, which one will it be?" Pretty tough choice. All supposed to be good books :) for a good reason. The answer is quite obvious in my heart. The spontaneuos one that stood out in my mind and heart when I was asked - it will be on my motherhood journey. My passion. My mission. My legacy. The training that I enrolled in by choice.

Today I would be interviewed briefly on a dance piece, "EVA" - I (and my 3 princesses) performed with some mums and their children last year. I've so much to say on being a mum - a vocation so often overlooked by our post-modern culture. Sometimes despised. A stay home mum loses her significance the moment she leaves the secular workforce. From a "somebody", she is reduced to "just a mum at home". An ex-colleague confidently stated, "If you were given a choice again, you would choose to come back to work, right? With a broad smile, I confidently without a shadow of doubt exclaimed, "I would still choose to be a stay home mum." That response caught her by surprise.

So now back to my thoughts on the interview, I've to concise my lengthy thoughts to a few lines. That's quite a feat for me as, if I were to write just one book in my lifetime, this would be IT. God's special training for me and I love it!

To all my beautiful girlfriends who share this same passion, let's say Amen! You are in the most influencial place in the world.

8/2/11 The Atrium

2011-02-08T18:07:00.003+08:00

I stood right in the centre of the empty lot smelling the fresh paint and watching the children laboring along with the faithful leaders and volunteers. The floor was clad with newspapers all over while diligent hands worked on the walls with tireless strokes.

The physical emptiness resonated with the fullness of his gracious kindness and everlasting love. I hear his heartbeat as I continued to stand in this place he has consecrated and named - The Atrium - I have chosen and consecrated this temple so that my Name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there. (2 Chronicles 7:16)

Gateway City Church is humbled and honoured as we dedicated the new rented lot to The King of Kings on 30 January 2011 in conjunction with her 3rd Anniversary. The Atrium is a life centre - a spiritual circulation of freshness and hope.

I stand in awe of him who calls forth radical faith and courage in times of uncertainty.

6/2/11 Life is Like...

2011-02-06T11:51:00.008+08:00

The last few days were filled with people. Young and old, and very old. Yes the oldest being 96 years' old.

The usual Chinese New Year rounds led us to meet family and friends whom a majority we don't see on the normal days. The most meaningful moment for me this new year up till now - my conversation with this 96 years' old grand aunty. She has lived almost a century and so ready to leave earth. She had been widowed since young and left with an only daughter whose life was robbed away by an air crash when she was still young. It has been a long lonely journey. I am amazed by her strength and alertness. Life is like...hmm, I am still processing her words of sharing.

Forrest Gump in the movie's famous line - "life is like a box of chocolates..."

What is life?
Life seems temporary. Yet it is full of different sort of baggages.
Where does it take us? Why we believe what we believe?

My wise mum always tell me to respect old people for we all will grow old one day too. I always take heed of that. I love hearing their stories. These stories teach. They inspire. Many made me think and reflect. This encounter will cause me to think further. She was also young once and full of dreams, but life took an unforseen turn and...she is still grappling with all these disturbing issues which I pray she will make peace with God and all.

Life is like...
I would like mine to be "like a box of colour pencils" - and the artist, Creator of all, who will colour it as he loves - even if it is black and white...may those who look at it will see the beauty of it and trace to the Artist.

2/2/11 Oh, It's Another Lunar New Year!

2011-02-02T14:56:00.011+08:00

Oh, it's here again...where did all the years go?

I would count down the days to Chinese New Year when I was a little girl. A long school break, new clothes, new shoes, everything was new...great excitement filled the air. Time for family renunion. Endless visitations but the same old questions and remarks. "Oh, you've grown so much." Then came the young adulthood..."Any boyfriend?" "Why not?" "Don't wait too long!"

In a flash of time, I am now an adult, a parent but still someone's child...oh, what I mean to say is there's too many responsibilities which overtaken me that I almost forgot the lunar new year is here again. In a way, this is one of the "have to" celebrate occassion by default. But that's not what I want to feel nor pass on. It is a time of newness - new beginnings. It's a welcoming of new spring in China where this culture orginated. Freshness and hope mark the occassion.

Even as I welcome tomorrow a new year in the Chinese calendar, and think of the good things, I can only trace God's doing through his Son, Christ to breathe a fresh hope and abundance in our lives, for he said, "...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

edlina's nest wishes you and family the fullness of God this season...GONG XI GONG XI!

25/1/11 When I Wonder

2011-01-25T21:30:00.008+08:00

When I wonder why...

other mums are paid for what they do while I slog my days out at home without a cent
other mums are sipping tea during break time while I gulped down my drink so I can continue another story after the umpteenth book...break? what is "break"?
other mums are doing the norms of life while I seem to fall into this "weird" category as one of my weird friend call ourselves
I could had been so and so in my profession but I am just a mum - a homeschool mum who have endless things in my mind, constantly shifting gear to meet the needs of little humans (from toddler to elementary to tween to teen) in my care, having a series of unaccounted actions of responsibilities which saps every ounce of my energy in every aspect...and at the end of the day left me totally spent!

But today, like some good days it makes me smile and I wonder why would any woman trade her place at home imparting into lives and impacting the land through these little humans who are so incredibly potential-packed...just awaiting for the pivotal moment to cause a positive explosion. The interruption and inconvenience of the day of my faulty car turned into a mind storming, joy bubbling cherished moment instead of fretting and whining while waiting for the mechanic to come to our rescue on the highway.

I wonder why not...since these little humans are living, learning and loving...read Ash's and Nat's posts.

The Discovery Journey Continues...

2011-01-01T13:11:00.004+08:00

The long months of silence in this blog speaks volume of the lack of time on my end...yikes! I hate that excuse. But that's a fact. Yes, we are all given equal share of 24 hours a day and it is amazing how every second ticks off so quickly and before we all know it, we step into a new year.

Here I am looking back at 2010 with no regrets despite many trials and difficulties. God's sovereignty reigns. Now facing 2011 with much excitement and anticipation I know I cannot do anything apart from being rooted in God. The discovery journey into the heart of God continues...I seek to "see the king in his beauty" (Isaiah 33:17).

My Heart Aches

2010-06-19T02:41:00.003+08:00

I thought it only happened in the movie. Perhaps not just movie, they are real. I read about them in the news. Hear of them in distant manner. The brutality of humankind towards another human - children. Child abuse. For a long time the society is fighting against this amongst other rights. Children - these little people...they have rights. They have the rights to live - to breathe like any other, to love and be loved. To know life is beautiful. To know the beauty of being known by his Creator. To know his destiny.

Oh, today my heart aches and cries out for mercy. Other times I did too. That's why reading the news is traumatic to me. But today - this happened in my family...to a relative. News reached my ears. A typical stepfather beating up the helpless child.

He sat on the road, curled up.
Shaking in pain and bruises all over.
Worn out.

Today this child lies in the hospital.
Case taken up by authority.

The wounds on his body is treated by the medical staff. The pain will be eased by some analgesics. I wonder how his heart is. There will be no medicine to help. No one at this moment to whisper love. I closed my eyes and prayed as my tears dropped. I see angels flapping their wings and guarding his bed. Surely the Father of all creation sees and knows. He still cares. He still loves. Jesus said, "It is finished."

I prayed this little boy will know Jesus settled for him on the Cross.
I prayed tonight he feels a touch from heaven.
Tomorrow is a brand new day. I prayed though the wounds may not be healed instantly but a hope will arise within his heart and spirit. I prayed he will forgive. He may not truly know how but may God erase this agonizing dark moment of his life in his spirit and let him learn to love.

In a little while, I will bring him the good news if he understands. Otherwise may my gestures bring a touch of love in some ways. Pray with me as we love every child, for Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me."

A Week of Celebrations

2010-04-24T12:40:00.004+08:00

Everyday is a gift...
Celebrate this week...

22 April is World Earth Day!
23 April is World Book Day!
24 April is World Health Day!
29 April is World Dance Day!

All of these so close to our hearts because they are God's gifts to us.

Come, celebrate the Penang World Dance Day today at Pelenggang Cahaya & Katasila, Pengajian Seni, USM from 10am-5.30pm (free workshops) and 6.30pm-7.30pm evening performance followed by a Improvisation Jam session at 8.00-9.00pm.

Chap Goh Meh 2010 at Gateway City Church

2010-03-01T01:33:00.005+08:00

What other way to close the Chinese New Year than having a good fellowship over a plentiful of good FOOD?! We are Chinese and we are Penangites, and we live in a land of glorious food. And we had...a spread of Chinese dishes! Some of my dear friends say, "Chinese food rocks!!"

While some are busy throwing oranges and drums into the sea, we are busy having a great time throwing delicious food into our mouths in the midst of godly company and some new friends, after a sweet heavenly manna - "First, love your God"...love the Lord your God with your all. (Matthew 22:34-40)

The lunar new year was wrapped up with his sweet love.

Chap Goh Meh 2010 in Gateway City Church.

Mum, Take a Break??

2010-02-26T23:05:00.004+08:00

We've giggled much even after many rounds of reading "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" - one of the many funny children's book in our collection. Now here's a version for mums which just fits the bill so well.

If You Give A Mom A Muffin - Original Author Unknown

If you give a mom a muffin,
She'll want a cup of coffee to go with it...
She'll pour herself some.
Her three-year-old will spill the coffee.
She'll wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she'll find dirty socks.
She'll remember she has to do laundry.
When she puts the laundry in the washer,
She'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan for supper.
She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She'll look for her cookbook ("101 Things To Do With a Pound of Hamburger").
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.
The check book is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old.
She'll smell something funny.
She'll change the two year old's diaper.
While she is changing the diaper, the phone will ring.
Her five-year-old will answer and hang up.
She'll remember she wants to phone a friend for coffee.
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
And chances are...

If she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

I had a good break laughing although I didn't have my coffee and the muffin to go with it :)
All my girls laughed in agreement.

So to all who aspire to be a mother, hmm...now you get a glimpse of this messy world called motherhood. Messy? Yes. But a beautiful mess.

Family Who PLAYS Together Stays Together

2010-02-25T15:39:00.009+08:00

Family who prays together stays together. True? Obviously.
But life is "no box", so a family must not only pray together, they ought to play together. Living life without a box.

There is no box

made by God

nor us

but that the sides can be

flattened out

and the top blown off

to make a dance floor

on which to celebrate life.

-Kenneth Caraway

The simplicity of nature in display at Jeram Waterfalls...(the only adventure I had this trip, but it was good enough to watch the children enjoying the trail walk, cool waters and steep rock climb)....

Live life loud!!!

The rest of whatever reserve of their energy was saved for their first time caving adventure in Gua Tempurung; of which I had to be all ears to listen to every exciting detail when they returned. These little hearts were thrilled at the wonders of God's handiwork.

In the Midst of Palm Oil Plantation

2010-02-24T18:58:00.006+08:00

A day and night away....
All packed and geared up...kids were more than ready to hit the road. Never mind it was an almost 2 hours' journey. They knew it would be fun thinking of the adventure planned.

Gopeng sounds remote and it is. Our destination - a fairly new bungalow to house us for the next 24 hours. We walked into a very clean and neat centre greeted by a friendly and godly man who takes good care of the place. Ashton was impatient as he looked at the inviting pool.

For a reasonable sum to cover food and lodging, we found our rest in Harvest Haven, nestled in the midst of the palm oil plantation. Or at least I had some quiet moments while the children were all headed for a great time of adventure.

Chinese New Year 2010

2010-02-19T15:53:00.005+08:00

A glimpse of Ashton's first meaningful CNY...last year he was a baby being lugged around without knowing anything...and chewed on the red packets...

All ready for the visitation round on the 1st day...

All geared up for 2nd day - a longer trip, to Ipoh...armed with the season's favourite companion, Barney and stack of Ladybird's collection to keep him occuppied...

Feasting...

Kids don't need expensive toys...all they need is creativity...a piece of shawl, time and space for exploration. Here's their version of lion dance...echoing Ashton's music..."ah tong, ah tong..." A joyful noise and a merry sight.

GONG XI GONG XI!!

Dad's Rep

2010-02-11T17:32:00.002+08:00

The Ipoh Clan...or just some of them...Ed's cousin brothers at Bee Ann's wedding...and look at the gap...the missing guy:) who was at the Asia-Pacific Floorball Championship in S'pore...

...and here's his representative...Ed Jr...with the uncles.

Not Wanting to Be Left Out

2010-01-28T16:56:00.003+08:00

A glimpse of our homefront for the new year...

It takes some constant reminders and adjustment to ease into our daily routine. Lessons are never confined on the desk and books as usual, but this is one usual morning scene for 4 days in the week. A big chunk of our days are spent doing a lot of other stuff...and figuring out life (and our surroundings) and living :) That's education.

Ashton insists on joining "school time". Climbed on by himself to grab mum's seat. Enjoying lessons in the presence of his sisters.

All the sisters are too eager to teach him.
Chrisa's daily routine includes giving reading lessons to the enthusiastic toddler.

Nat wants her share too. Ashton is like a sponge absorbing the math concepts while learning some eye-hand co-ordination through beading.

Ashlynn surely is another great teacher although no nice pics to post up at this point. What a blessed boy to be surrounded by loving teachers! The best education begins with love - love for the person, love to impart knowledge and love itself. That would mean it bounds back to God being Love.

Welcoming 2010 with the Joy of the Lord

2010-01-03T02:16:00.003+08:00

It is here again.

A new year. A new start. A full calendar.

I am still easing into the new year but time waits for no man...nor woman :)
Every day moves on so fast, I wish I can slow it down. As much as I like to make sure everything is in order, listed and charted, I just couldn't make it this season. I've learned to just do it - and do it quick, spontaneous and enjoy the moment. Hmm...and still learning...some list and charts still give me a sense of peace and security. A handle I can hang on but I know as long as I bring God with me everywhere and all the time, I will be good. So in the midst of all the busyness, active moves and running into the new year, I thought I will be in a panic state...but surely I can give thanks for the joy of the Lord.

WISHING YOU THE SAME TOO, MY DEAR FAMILY AND FRIENDS!

A Celebration of His Love

2009-12-19T15:28:00.002+08:00

The anticipated excitement in the months of waiting is now being replaced by the reality that we are back in good old Penang. The hot and humid weather almost melt us every time we go out and hit reality into us that "hey, we are in tropical Penang". No more erratic temperature change of Melbourne. Did we enjoy the trip? If you asked my kids, it will be a resounding YES! As for Ed and I - it was indeed a very tiring one running after an active toddler who is ready to explore just about anything and anywhere.

There was no time to slowly ease into routine. We were welcomed by a lot of work awaiting to be done especially with the Christmas season. Today - in my quiet moments...with kids all gone for Christmas shopping, I finally get to pen down as I traced God's doing in every single move in our trip to Melbourne. Another faith trip. Another miraculous act. His prompt provision is beyond description. Only God can do all these. Indeed He is "I AM WHO I AM".

We were surrounded by love through his people. Love. God's love. Can you understand it all?

There's a quiet celebration of his love in my heart as I think of Christmas.
Surely Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in our heart.

Blessed Christmas and Have an Enriching 2010!

A Season of Change

2009-11-24T19:58:00.001+08:00

Ashton protested to be fastened. He wriggled hard to be freed from my attempt to fasten his belt as the plane was preparing for landing. I whispered a prayer to the Father asking for help to keep the toddler down. The moment I succeeded, I sighed a relief and prayed that he would keep still till we landed.

As the plane landed at the Melbourne Airport, I whispered a "thank you" to the Father again and asked that He will show me more...apart from attending Peggen's wedding, an important affair to us. We have every reason to be thankful for this young woman whom we have watched from being a teen full of dreams in a local college to being a mature woman of faith...and preparing to be a beautiful bride. Deep down in my heart I know the Father always has a multi-purpose plan. He always maximize the opportunities. So I have to be in sync with him to ride on every opportunity, and learn well. "God, what are you teaching me this trip?"

Suddenly it dawned upon me, I was shedding the old of my spiritual autumn and resting in my spiritual winter the last trip I was in Australia. The exact seasons in the physical during our sabbath then. Here in this land again after 2 1/2 years, we were welcomed by the cool refreshing spring and preparing to enter into summer in just a little while. In the spiritual, that's our season too - a season of ploughing and hard work of planting. Yet in a little while we will see the fruit. Then again, we have to be diligent in protecting the fruit from the heat of summer. Spiritual warfare! Nevertheless, summer is a season of lots of work and sweat yet it is coupled with fun in the sun. Certainly we are in the challenging season but also anticipating tremendous excitement.

Inevitable change! I need to know my season to maximize every opportunity given before I welcome the next season.

Inevitable Change

2009-10-11T01:50:00.003+08:00

Life is always changing. Seasons change. People change.

October 8 is always doubly special. My mum and my father-in-law share the same birth date. As we rejoiced and celebrated this day, it also reminded me with every birthday we grow older. It thrill our hearts to see the children grow. On the other hand, I am thankful for our parents but as I traced their obvious aging signs, my heart aches to face the reality that they are no longer as strong and energetic as they used to be. Their faces bear increasing lines and sagging muscles. Their gait is no longer as steady. Their pace slower. They need to rest in between during outings. Their lives draw closer to the eternal home each moment. It is a fact I have to face and I am so grateful for our parents to know they love me so much and raised us all to live a full life.

I thought of my children's plea every now and then, "Mum, please don't grow old. Please stay young and beautiful (beauty is in the eye of the beholder and ahem, this could be a biase statement from adoring children :) And I will always reply to each of them, "I wish I could, honey but we all grow old." Then I will ask them, "Will you love me just the same?"

Now I stand in my children's shoes and wished our parents won't grow old...but it is a fact I have to face. Change is inevitable. As I looked intently at each of them, I can only say, "I love you just the same."

Old is gold :) May God's grace and countenance be upon them as they age.

Aku Anak Malaysia

2009-08-28T16:49:00.002+08:00

Merdeka Day is here again.
The noise of celebration begins...
Jalur Gemilang berkibar...

As a nation we have our ups and downs.
The political scene never interest me but can I ignore totally and be indifferent, I sometimes ponder...
I was born and bred in this beautiful rich land. At a glance, it's easy to overlook the true beauty of this nation especially for people who have lived here too long and taken for granted the blessings upon this land. As I mature through the years, my eyes are open to the splendour of Malaysia - a land of great potentials.

How many talk about change? Yet refuses to be a part of it. While the migration rate is increasing, my eyes look further in and deeper to this nation.
I see opportunities.
I see a generation rising up to rebuild the country.
I see great things coming...

I bless Malaysia, tanahair ku!
Biarlah Cahaya menyinari Mu, sekarang and selamanya.

My August Babies

2009-08-21T11:50:00.005+08:00

The feminine and masculine Ash were my May babies.

This month, I pondered on God's faithfulness for my family as I celebrated another new year for my August babies. It is always so delightful to watch the children grow yet it always the case too for a mum to sometimes wish they don't grow too fast :) so that she can savour every wondrous moment before they leave the nest.

Nat was born a 29 weeker, hospitalized for the first 56 days of her life...
from a helpless babe to a miraculous ten!

Nathalynn - the Beautiful Gift of God

Chrisa almost came premature too at 34 weeks... but she's always full of surprises. When all of us expected her arrival (even the doctor), she decided to wait a lil' longer...so she came right on time at exactly 36 weeks making her a term baby....though still 4 more weeks to the full gestation. Right from the beginning, she's always delighting us with her smiles and wittiness...life is never dull with Chrisa. She never fails to invite you into her creative world. Last year was all geared up being a soldier. This year, she's the ninja on a secret mission :) Oh, my baby is 6!

Chrisalynn - the Anointed Beauty

The Lord fills the home with rare and beautiful treasures.
(Proverbs 24:3)

Stretched but not Snapped

2009-08-15T12:03:00.003+08:00

It has been a long silence from blogging. And break from a lot of things.

Every part of me has been stretched. Thankfully, not snapped.
How much am I willing to be stretched?
My own husband preached on this - the stretching...liken to a rubberband...reaching our optimum potential.

The last two months (almost), the pain and suffering from muscular spasm of my upper back has taken me into dark tunnel and kept me wondering when will I see the light again...but it is His everlasting Word that kept me going. Many years ago, a friend told me - at the end of every dark tunnel, there is the light. I know I will soon see it if I keep walking. T.D.Jakes in his book, Reposition - Living Life Without Limits confirmed my own thoughts of turning my misery into ministry. The times I rested in bed and battling the pain and a distressed spirit, I lifted my eyes to heaven and thought, "There must be surely more than this!" A whole series of thoughts and emotions ran through me all these weeks - it has been a very FULL though dreadful journey. I know this experience is never going to be wasted. My spiritual journal is packed with precious gems - awaiting to be unfold as opportunity comes. Filled with divine promises. I will watch the Word become alive - for the mouth of the Lord has spoken (Isaiah 58:14).

I am still on the road to total recovery...I will take heart and be strong, for His grace is sufficient for me, for my power is made perfect in weakness...for when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Cor. 12:9-10).

There Must Be More Than This

2009-07-04T12:37:00.006+08:00

"...the experience of our lives, when we let God use them, become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the work He will give us to do." (Corrie Ten Boom, The Hiding Place)

There must be more than this...we wonder a lot of times in life...
Life's experiences - priceless and has a higher purpose if we see it from the Maker's perspective.Taming my restless spirit in this supposedly rest period...

Each life is full of stories, and if translate to writings will make volumes of interesting reads that will fil the library. And with Jesus walking with us in these stories, we will create history and make God famous.

Our Father in Heaven

2009-06-29T18:20:00.003+08:00

As I promised, I will have my say on my Heavenly Father...since Father's Day, I've been thinking...there's just simply beyond words...my Father who is yours too:) - He is...WOW...do I have enough words to express...if only we could understand a little more of his great love each day...Don Moen's song became my prayer and contemplation...

Think about His love, think about His goodness
Think about His grace that's brought us through
For as high as the heavens above
So great is the measure of our father's love
Great is the measure of our Father's love
So great is the measure of our Father's love

How could I forget His love
And how could I forget His mercies
He satisfies, He satisfies, He satisfies my desires

Think about His love, think about His goodness
Think about His grace that's brought us through
For as high as the heavens above
So great is the measure of our father's love
Great is the measure of our Father's love

Great is the measure
Great is the measure
Great is the measure
Great is the measure of our Father's love
Great is the measure of our Father's love

Can we ever measure his love?
You and I have been loved. Just give it a thought.

My Dad

2009-06-22T01:59:00.003+08:00

He's ever so youthful looking.
People thought he was my big brother in my growing up years as he faithfully took me on his bike to school, brought me food as I stayed back after school to study and do revision.

I loved those days when he worked in an established hotel. Mum would take us to the lobby and wait for him to finish work. He would proudly introduced me to his colleagues and guests. The certain pride of a father could be felt. After work, it was always supper. Food has been an important part of his life. Dad eats all the time. He knows every corner in town to get the best of everything. He doesn't like to travel - says the best food is in Penang.

He's the filial son.
The loving and faithful husband. You cannot imagine how many times he calls mum everyday:)
The strong father - no nonsense.
The watchful brother - he guards and cares for his siblings. Being the middle child of 5, he fathered his youngest sister with his utmost best till she was married very late in life.

The generous grandfather - always lavishing gifts upon his grandchildren, and going all the way out to meet their needs.
A kind friend - to all he meets, he will give a smile. And I grew up witnessing generosity - he pays for those who dine with him. Not that he's rich but to him, it's an honour.

He toiled. He taught us. He gave all he has and still giving...
He has his flaws (who doesn't?)...but I stand to salute him for who he is and all that he has done, and still doing...I am sure God is pleased and is smiling at this son of His.

(Dad enjoying fish spa - a delightful moment. Find out in GEMS)

In honour of the man who lovingly provided for the family and raised us - my Daddy, the ever loving, kind and generous man! I LOVE YOU.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!

To my Father in Heaven, I also have my say...will keep for the next post :)

Dream A Dream

2009-06-17T23:47:00.004+08:00

Dream A Dream!
Hope is a waking dream...

Another dance project the girls were involved in...a three months' work by 23 young people with different needs and abilities. Organized by BOLD Association for Children with Special Needs, Penang with the support and collaboration of Disted-Stamford College, Ramakrishna Home, and Shan Children's Home, Penang.

A wonderful project aimed to promote creative arts and dance as medium for expression, communication and development for young people, providing an inclusive environment for children of different backgrounds and abilities, an opportunity for them to explore their dreams, and being empowered to yield their creativity.

Song Presentation

Presenting their dream..."The Enchanted Forest"...

The dance

Three short films by the kids were screened following the live showcase.
I love this project as it wasn't just another dance piece...children were given a chance to explore their various artistic skills in an inclusive environment; and definitely a character building block for my own girls as they learned to work with special needs and shelter home children.

He Walked!

2009-06-12T00:47:00.003+08:00

Finally, he took his first steps this week!
Two days after he turned 1, he took one step - all by himself. That's it. Ah Ma has been commenting boy very slow la...girls seemed to have faster headstarts. Hmm, she was a little impatient. This week while she babysat Ashton while I went out, the lil' boy made her very happy. She witnessed his first steps. And announced to us when we got back. Then the cutie pie proudly showed me 7 steps and beamed with a big smile...then clapped his hands! Ooh...so cute...the sisters were so thrilled at this milestone.

And...as for me, fourth round mothering...I am still as excited as I watched my baby grow.

Marvellously Grown

2009-05-31T15:43:00.006+08:00

The month of May is voted the Most Rejoicing Month in the family. There's 3 birthdays, Mother's Day, and a Wedding Anniversary.

She said I always say the same thing every 31 May...that my mum refused to be a granny (seems so old to have that title) many years ago, but now she enjoys her grandchildren and has been Ah Ma for eleven years already! How Ashlynn has marvellously grown!! She is 11 today.

Birthday breakfast (choc chips with kiwi fruit pancake) from Chrisa & Nat & Mum

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our gorgeous gal!!!

Every birthday is a reminder of God's precious gift of life in the family.

(Read Marvellously Made in Gems)

The Rhythm of the Rain

2009-05-21T16:01:00.003+08:00

Pitter, patter...the rain is here...

Ashton listening to the rhythm under the umbrella...

The dance begun...

(read The Song of Heaven in Gems)

Autumn in Penang?!

2009-05-21T15:12:00.005+08:00

It was very late at night when we came home recently. Our eyes caught an unusually beautiful sight of the road right where our house is...a very brightly covered pathway as our vehicle light shone against the road. It was entirely draped with fallen yellow flowers (which I don't even remember the name - *so embarassed*). This is the first time after staying in this neighbourhood for 12 years we've seen such beautiful scenery. The whole road - length and width was gloriously covered in yellow. Too bad couldn't capture the night scene.

The tampered road in the day time after washed by busy zooming vehicles.

Chrisa enjoying the flowers at the sidewalk

Thrilled by the simple wonder of God's art work.

Ashton in touch with nature - the most natural and absolutely interesting learning experience.

The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who lived in it...
(Psalm 24:1)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

2009-05-18T10:57:00.000+08:00

Who says bible study is boring? We tried different methods as the children grow.
With time constraint now, we try to keep it simple. The girls always look forward to - digging into God's Word.

Here's one very special moment for Mum & Daughters as we squeezed time to worship, pray, eat and have fun in the presence of God...
Always be happy. Never stop praying. Give thanks whatever happens. This is what God wants for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thes.5:16-18)

Reliving my childhood :)
The Queen of the Land of Joy had a royal banquet with the princesses of faraway land. Meet the princesses...

Princess Charlotte of Spain

Princess Nellie of Netherlands

Princess Aranea of Norway

Our royal food...
yummy Betty Crocker's mashed potato, Arthur's Organic Pasta & Cheese, Eggs with mixed veges...washed down with grape juice (or was it Ribena that we used? :)

Instead of Just Mom and Me Having Tea by Mary Murray (a book gift from Aunty Christina to Nat), we decided to adopt a similar idea but a grander feel...so we really dress up :)

Girls just wanna have fun - and we did! Wholesome fun in the Lord.

(Note of thanks to Christina for the book. Very simple but gives/sparks ideas and allow us to share our hearts. Also, for me to add in personal touch in writings for each of the girls. I know this is for Nat but she agreed to let us all discuss the book together. She's always so kind.)

In case you are looking for the Queen's pic...erm...she was also the camera woman :) but yes, she was grandiously dressed up too.

Change of tastebuds

2009-05-17T01:52:00.004+08:00

"I'm sick of my baby biscuits."

"Gimme one of yours...cream crackers. Now you see it..."

Now you don't! Umm.

Ashton is exploring new taste and texture in food. Been grabbing food from our platters and refusing his own!

Yummylicious Dinner

2009-05-14T23:18:00.002+08:00

Dinner was late, but it was worth the wait...
classic fish & chips done by the Man of the house.
The girls made sure Daddy cook tonight. Yummylicious!!!

And guess what? Next Thur will be another guy's turn...Joerel, our foster son from KK, Sabah. We are looking forward to it...

Riddle??

2009-05-14T02:26:00.004+08:00

Everyday Chrisa bounces off endless mental output from her little mind...which isn't actually little at all since she amazes us with an assortment of mind-boggling input as well as many which require intelligent responses. They all come in various forms - questions, riddles, silly songs, funny rhymes, witty remarks and etc. Not to mention some serious theological questions.

I can't get this one out of my mind since yesterday...
If anyone can give her a satisfying answer, I will give you a good treat the next time I see you...

Q: Why do people say, " You get on my nerve...and not...you get on my brain or vein??"

Healthy Alternative

2009-05-14T01:35:00.005+08:00

Thought I wanted for a change to bake my own baby's birthday cake instead of grabbing one from the bakery which is stuffed with sugar!!! And they don't eat it anyway since I don't want my babies to have sweet tooth. The past three kids have nice purchased cakes. This time I wanted to be adventurous in the kitchen though baking is not particularly my cup of tea. My little helpers having picked up some good nutritional values, were always keeping watch for me in regards to their little brother's diet. So I can't "cheat" this time even if its his birthday cake. So I browsed through some baby cakes' recipes.

Result: I decided on a simple sugarless banana cake. Since I had spreadable ricotta cheese, I used that as my topping instead of whipping up my own frosting. That's easy. Chrisa sprinkled some choco & coloured rice to create the alphabet "A" for Ashton. Tadaa! We were so proud of ourselves.

For the first time, I had to apologize to the family for the healthy treat since I didn't think anyone expected a sugarless cake :) Guess it must be a good choice for the grannies too and caught those who have sweet tooth in surprise...haha...

The funny thing was the birthday boy never rejects any food I offered him...and for this, he just wouldn't open his mouth even to taste! After all the effort...

It was as though he just knew the trick when he was supposed to have a treat!!

Ashton turned 1

2009-05-12T20:36:00.006+08:00

Time flies - the year zoomed by so quickly.....

Yay!!!!!
(extremely excited after the birthday song)

Father & Son Moment

The Blessed Family

Unless the Lord builds his house, its builders labour in vain...

...Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of the warrior
are sons born in one's youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
(Psalm 127:1; 4-5)

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T12:16:00.003+08:00

Throughout the years of growing up, I've thought of Mother's Day as an important day to especially honour my mummy. As simple as she may be, I would not be here today without her. That's for sure. Her deep love touched me in ways unspeakable. She has her shortcomings but her sacrificial love overshadows all her flaws.

All of us have to come into this world through the womb of our mums. In this chaotic world, there are many abandoned children. I don't want to take for granted what mum had and still is doing for me even now I am a mother myself. How true it is that one will appreciate her mum even more when she becomes one too :) Nothing beats life's experience itself. Here I am in my own journey of motherhood - loving, living and definitely still learning. Despite my own limitations, I know my children still love me lots. What a privilige to stand on both sides to experience to be a mother and being mothered.

To all the lovely mothers...it is said MOM spelled upside down is WOW!
Happy Mother's Day! May God grant you his portion to continue to nurture.

A Mini Retreat

2009-05-01T13:56:00.003+08:00

Of all places, I landed up in the children's hospital yesterday. Ashton was admitted. His throat ulcers bothered him to the extent no food/drinks could be consumed. Drip was the last resort to keep him hydrated. As much as I dreaded this measure, I know he needed it after seeing him in much distress.

God has his way of turning every circumstance for the good of his children. Ashton got the rest he needed in the quiet room and my anxiety of his poor input/output taken care of with the drip. The much needed break I cried for the past weeks was being fulfilled in this place :) As I watched my baby settled calmly, my heart was eased into a peaceful state. The rest of the evening and night was my time alone with God. Such tangible gentle presence of God rested on me as I enjoyed this holy moment.

In every human heart only God can fill the void. I am surrounded by love - loving man, loving kids, loving extended family, loving friends yet there's a certain space within which only He can fill and fill it totally.

Tears to triumph

2009-04-05T02:16:00.003+08:00

Been surrounded by children 24/7...ahem, what happens?

I am not sure about other mums, but I look forward to bedtime where I tuck them in after a long hard day, kissed them goodnight after prayers...watched them slip into dreamland and savour the moments of looking at their sweet faces as they lie in bed. Oh, not to mention the quietness of the atmosphere after noise pollution the entire day.

Tonight as with many nights, getting through the night routine itself is a great effort. Cleaning and changing, bedtime stories, bible reading and prayers...before I get to sit down to enjoy some quiet moments to keep my sanity. Many times I slipped into dreamland with them too:)

My plan didn't work out tonight and threw me off balance for a moment. I was desperate for help and quickly shot a prayer to God. Little did I know He was going to turn my tears into triumph. The night ended with a sweet note...

spent some moments alone with each child...

an hour plus with one who needed to talk more...PTL!!!

The Voice of THE MAN

2009-03-15T02:11:00.005+08:00

You've been hearing the feminine voice most of the time.
Finally the man with few words makes his mark here.

So for an added flavor of the masculine expression from our home, find updates in Edward's new website.

edlina's nest

2009-02-15T10:59:00.005+08:00

The growing eaglets in edlina's nest - learning, loving and living.

It's A Matter of Perspective

2009-02-15T02:33:00.005+08:00

Every outing for us (especially if I go out alone with my children)never fails to attract attention. Some friendly smiles while others were strange stares...and still others led to interesting conversations and friendships.

Yesterday, I caught an elderly man smiled at me after I almost finished paying at the cashier of a bookshop. In a few moments, I saw the same man smiling at me again in the midst of the busy crowd of the mall. He pointed at my children and counted with his finger one by one, "1,2,3,4"...and then he gave a thumbs up! I smiled back. Ashlynn asked, "Do you know him, mum?" Obviously, I don't. He was one of those whom was delighted to see our little troop. It is not an uncommon gesture. I've got countless queries.

"Are these all yours?" (of, course, or else?)
"How many kids do you have?" (I am wondering if there's really that many to count)
"Huh? You got four!" (So?)
"Wah, so many kids!" (So many???)
"All girls? Oh, one boy."
"You are so little yourself...and you've got so many kids."

So many?! I thought I could still count them with one hand :)
Four - it's already SO MANY in our culture and generation. And to think God commanded us to "be fruitful and multiply". Thinking of the traditional (yet biblical) wishes to be productive when one get married and how genuine that wish is...hmm...I am pretty sure people don't think hard enough nor serious enough the extent of that wish. I've only a handful of well-wishers who really think this is a good and God-idea to be "fruitful and multiply". Should I highlight multiply? Ed says, in order to do that...the least is 4! When one couple has 2 (which is the urban norm), it is only replacement. Not reproduction.

So we are only hitting the minimum quotient.
I am subscribed to a Christian motherhood magazine which is a pro-natural parenting group. I admire their great faith of bringing up a big family of godly children. And I mean BIG. Not 4...but 8, 10, 20...and one particular case I read had 25!! Insane, right? How do you get such a massive number? Biological offsprings plus adoption. Four is certainly a small sum for these families :) Talking of touching lives...surely they have touched them under one roof.

Rest In Peace

2009-02-09T10:48:00.006+08:00

The hand phone beeped again early this morning...a sms came in informing me of my friend's passing away. No matter how prepared I was, I still felt the pain surged in me. What more for his beloved wife and dear parents whom he left behind!

Death doesn't recognize age, gender, race, religion, nor status in life. The fear of the unknown never cease to confront the candidate; and the pain of the loss of their loved ones is tangible.
But, for those who believed in Him, we are convinced that neither death not life, neither angels nor demons, neither present not the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

I rest assured my friend is now in the glorious place; having completed his assignment on earth is now resting in peace. For all of us still present on earth, we still have our assignment to complete. And, the One who entrusted us the divine appointment will take to completion what he has begun in us. Let us make our lives count for eternity.

A Wake Up Call

2009-02-07T09:21:00.004+08:00

Early this morning, my hand phone rang...
No, it wasn't my alarm.
I saw the name...I knew in my heart it was probably bad news.
A friend called...informed me of our mutual friend's ill condition.
My heart sank though I had anticipated this day will arrive.
I had planned to visit him soon but haven't managed to...
We hadn't been in touch for years. He was based overseas. Just married 2 years' ago. Diagnosed with brain tumour. The malignancy spreads. Came back recently to his hometown. Wheeled chair bound. Poor physical condition with a grim outlook.
Last night, deteriorated further. Admitted to ICU, comatose.

Ed just rushed off with the friend who called to pray for him.
I am seated here with a heavy heart filled with emotional pain for his dear wife and parents. The last image of his face with a sleek smile when we last communicated flashed in my mind.
My prayers go forth for him and his family.

Life...
who can explain it all?

I used to confront this issue of life and death everyday working in the hospital.
The intensity heightened during my posting in ICU.
Death confronted my patients. The pain of the loss was excruciating to their loved ones.
The urgency of the gospel of truth was intensified in me. I went to work every shift armed with a mission and compassion for the lost.

The intensity of that urgency can sometimes tapples off when the norm of life takes over...
We all know life is full of uncertainties.
Yet death is a certain route - for "even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." but the Good Shepherd is our comfort - "I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4)

The certainty of death confronts all of us.
But each of us have a choice in our destiny.
My comfort for my friend lying in the ICU bed now is he knows Christ. He reconciled with his Creator. Heaven is welcoming him home.

Life is fragile. That's why we are asked to "watch and pray".
Today I heard my wake up call from heaven.

A Spiritual Milestone

2009-02-02T10:19:00.005+08:00

After being the 4th time mum, I know full well babyhood doesn't last. The complete helplessness of an infant will soon pass so quickly and I'll look back every time and marveled at how the once upon a time baby has grown so much in every way. I've learnt not to complain so much but to appreciate the brief period of growth spurt. In the short one year, the tiny helpless newborn is nurtured through basic needs of just simple diet and play and lots of sleep. And of course, loving touch and cuddles.

I watched my own babies grew. Now Ashton will be 9 months' old soon and I can't keep up with how the days just passed by...from the sealed eyes at the first two days in the hospital nursery, now that same pair of eyes twinkle with such delight and excitement each day. The once immobile infant is now crawling and exploring new ground daily. He is determine to stand without support but fell many times; only to get up and got over his fear and tears almost immediately. He is ready to explore again. Potentials and possibilities are ahead of him.

His birth keeps my eyes open to my spiritual baby too...Gateway City Church was conceived at the same time. The church celebrated her 1st anniversary last week. There's a lot of hard work in nurturing a new church plant. But just like my biological baby, I watched in great anticipation the potentials and possibilities ahead as our Loving and Gracious Father set his basic foundations, supply, support and shield His spiritual infant. It will come a time to soar.

From OUR HOME to YOURS

2009-01-25T01:06:00.007+08:00

Here's wishing all our dear Chinese relatives and friends...

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 3:13-14)

May this Lunar New Year brings you forward to experience Him in greater fullness and we pray your eyes will set on the Cross and not the Ox; for the Lord is the God of a hopeful future (Jeremiah 29:11).

We wish you an abundance year in the Lord and find His favour in this uncertain times.

Blessings from edlina's nest.

Annual Tradition

2009-01-20T18:20:00.004+08:00

Another fun moment in Dec 2008...

Going to Cameron Highlands has become an annual tradition for the past few years since we have been taking camps in this cool highland. Apart from Penang, this is the most familiar ground for my children. Through the many visits, we became good friends with the strawberry farm owner, and garderners of a rose garden which doesn't only grow roses but a wide variety of flowers and raspberries; and even harvest pure wild honey. These are two definite places of visit for us...

Ooh la la.....enjoying juicy strawberries from Uncle Raju's.

Opera Pasar by Anak-Anak Kota

2009-01-20T17:40:00.007+08:00

Recapturing some busy, but fun moments of Dec 2008.....

The last quarter of 2008.....Ash and Nat passed an audition for a dance project by Anak-Anak Kota (under the Ombak-Ombak Art Studio). They diligently undergone 6 hours of training in the weekends under the abled dance teacher, Aida Redza. More intensive training during the school holidays.

The girls really enjoyed themselves thoroughly working on their creative pieces and exploring contemporary dance in different ways. Not to mention making new friends who share the same passion and interesting way of discovering the history of the city.

Final showcase took them to the streets; first at Campbell Street Market where the history of the market was unfolded and how as youngsters they would like to preserve it. The rerun was held in Little Penang Street Market which attracted a larger and more responsive crowd.

The youth musical "gamelan" team provided an authentic Malaysian rhythm in the background while the younger ones enhanced the drama with dance and movement. The two main characters brought forth the oracles in authentic mixture of Penang dialects seasoned with Malay "bahasa pasar".

The street performances were covered by the journalists. Here's an interview with two young dancers, Ashlynn and Maya by Eduweb.

Syabas!! Was a superb performance by the Penang kia (kids).

Caught Right in Action

2009-01-18T03:00:00.000+08:00

I was so tired yesterday and Ashton clung on to me. I made many promises to my girls but was simply impossible to get pass the bed with Ashton. The craft work and reading which I was supposed to do with them...oh well, they did all by themselves.

I pulled myself out of bed feeling lethargic and thought, "Oh dear, I've got to get dinner going." To my surprise, I caught my girls in action - in the kitchen! They shooed me off and commanded me to stay off. Dinner would be served soon. They busied themselves as I sat in the living room waiting with my tummy growling in hunger. But it was a sweet feeling coming all over me. Instead of serving them, I would be served :)

There was a bit of squabbling in the kitchen but everything was in control. Soon they proudly set the table and served pasta, mushroom soup and vegetable salad; and apples glazed with honey. And noodles for me since we were short of pasta! Ashlynn exclaimed as we sat down, "Mum, we can survive without you" with a positive note in her voice as this means I can go off for a break and leave them home alone. She was reinforcing to me AGAIN..."not to worry!"

I looked at them and thought, "Wow, they are really growing up!"

Guess Who?

2009-01-16T01:53:00.003+08:00

One of the fun things we do in our family...guess who this is?

Food Story

2009-01-16T01:01:00.001+08:00

Lunch was fun as the Lynns worked on their creation of mashed potatoes and greens.

Each of them had a story to tell.....
.....here's Chrisa's two ducklings swimming...surrounded by a slide and greenery.

Presenting the complete platters.

Was a hard time eating as they looked on their hard work :)

Reflection on Gems

2009-01-14T11:47:00.006+08:00

I've been enjoying writing the gems' devotional. Every time I put those thoughts down, I am ministered by God myself. Though life always has neverending challenges, my heart can't deny there's a Supreme Being in control. I wish I can write more often but I guess for now once a week is good enough. Give me ample time to savour my own thoughts and allow one scripture or two to really invade my inner self and speak loud and clear. It's wonderful too to see how my own girls are benefiting from a simple write-up. Probably these are very personal accounts so they can identify full well. Hence, the scriptures become alive to them even at this tender age.

What had springboard from this simple act of obedience is the Lynns decided to use these gems for our weekly mother-daughters' bible study. There's so much to talk about and I really enjoy such moments. Simply priceless. Inspiration sparked off as we discussed some questions pertaining to the topic. Check out Ashlynn's Discoveries for one creative result. Perhaps I should formulate some questions to be included in the blog too for those who wish to reflect deeper.

For those who have been visiting Gems, THANK YOU for taking time to read and be patient with me as I continue to work on improving as time permits. Let us not give up encouraging each other...as Hebrews 10:24-25 command.

Gems for the Heart

2009-01-01T14:00:00.003+08:00

A new year begins.....there are many things I need to do, and want to do. Amongst the many things, I have an offering to bring to God.....

Announcing my new blog http://gemsfortheheart.blogspot.com ; a devotional write-up which I aim to do weekly at this moment with the ultimate goal of daily articles.

Lovingly dedicated to my gorgeous daughters, Ashlynn and Nathalynn and many special women in my life; and all of you who have been faithfully dropping by our blog. It is my desire and prayer you will pick up a gem or two from heaven as you take time to read.

Be blessed!

Hopeful New Year

2009-01-01T03:41:00.003+08:00

It's almost 4 am and I should be sleeping soundly. Instead I am feeling more alert now than few hours earlier. We just crossed over to a brand new year. The church family in Gateway City Church had the very first watchnight service. I would say this is the best for me. Simply it is a much smaller setting and naturally warmer. Plus to beat the norm we presented creative offerings to the Lord.

As we reflected on the year gone by.....we testified God's goodness and faithfulness through songs, dance, media presentations. Some gave the classic oral testimonies. Others rendered their offerings through the splendid spread of supper! It warmed my heart to see each one's creativity and the simplicity of bringing before the Beloved Father our humble offerings. I am sure it put a smile on His face knowing that they flowed from His children's eager hearts.

Pr. Ed preached a mountain-moving message. To have bold faith and enter a new year with great belief and courage in asking God. What a hopeful new year! It is a year of Possibilities!

The Touch

2008-12-21T10:47:00.005+08:00

Motherhood is for the long haul. Many people love children. Oh, it's really nice to play with them for a little while and when you are tired, all you have to do is return them to the mums. Indeed being a mum is an incredible calling and the exchanges are simply too wonderful to mention.

Ashton has been unwell for the past 3 months. Nothing that serious compared to many who are suffering. Yet it is still demanding whenever a baby is ill. The cold has turned into post nasal drip and stubbornly stayed on despite medical treatment. Oral medicine and nebulizer. Now resorted to inhaler for prophylaxis treatment. My patience has been tested with the long nights and deprived rest. What can be more unbearable with my new neighbour's house renovation! The banging, knocking, drilling and cementing. Definitely not helping the situation at all. In fact, adding more stress and physically contributing the dust factor :(

Just a while ago, as I cuddled Ashton in my arms soothing him after administering his treatment for the morning round, I sang a song of praise. The song spontaneuosly broke forth my lips gently just before I fret feeling sorry for myself. I smelled his head as he rested upon me. My hands stroking his back and feeling the smooth baby skin as I watched him close his eyes to slip into dreamland after struggling consuming his awful medicine. Have you wonder why the pharmaceutical company manufactures such horrible tasting cure?! My girls always ask whenever they are ill.

No matter how depressing the moment is for me and Ashton, our skin touching each other is magical. A soothing transmission takes place. My child calms down. I am comforted to know I could be present to help ease the distress. That bond is beyond words. I am thankful I can hold him in my arms as I nurse him back to health. A quick flash of the neonatal intensive care unit came back. It was nine years ago. Nat was lying in the incubator. I stood by that box and sang, "Jesus Loves Me This I Know". That song has never been so meaningful and powerful to me until my 29 weeker was born. Daily I stood and watched helpessly. I couldn't cuddle and coddle my newborn. The few superficial touches through the tiny openings of the incubator was totally unsatisfying. It was not until 2-3 weeks later I happened to be at the hospital when she was taken out to be pricked all over. They failed to get a good IV site. The moment was magical when she was handed to me to be cuddled for the first time. I guess I was more comforted than the fragile premature baby weighing slightly more than a kilogram. I felt we met properly for the first time ever since her arrival. The touch - the magical moment.

The power of the touch. I know I am being touched too by my Father. Something extraordinary took place the day my Heavenly Father touched me. That encounter was the beginning of the everlasting bond. I am still been soothed and sang over (Zephanianh 3:17).

As I struggled through the distress of life,
I stay contented knowing my Father is by my side.
No matter what the strife,
I regain my strength in the secret place where I hide.

The magical moment of the touch,
To know I am loved so much!

Messy Christmas

2008-12-18T15:45:00.005+08:00

It is not a typo error. Yes, the word is messy.

I can't find any spotless corner every angle I turn. There is some kind of mess piling at every corner of the house. My melancholy self is falling apart. I am trying to keep my sanity in the midst of all the mess. The Christmas tree is up. Thanks to children at home. Little hands helped to add the mood to the year end festival. Christmas has never been a big do in the family. As a matter of fact, every celebration like Chinese New Year is never such a big bang in our home. Yes, we rejoice with family and friends. The usual gift exchange and food (but not too elaborate). Nevertheless, I still like to clean up the house NOW but my body is protesting.

"Merry Christmas", "Merry Christmas"- is all over...the papers, magazines, radio...and my own kids labouring with love getting their home-made Envirolynns products ready for dear ones. Oh, what's that? Hmm, young entrepreneur at work. That's enough to kick in the festive mood. But I am still in this mess! Can I have a merry Christmas in the midst of the mess?

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes...I see the manger...

Was the scene of the first Christmas truly a merry one or...perhaps it was messy too...afterall, it was in a stable. My imagination took me to different parts of the stable as I read the account of Luke on the arrival of God's Son. I wish there are more details in the story of the birth of Jesus in the initial arrival right in the stable. Luke 2:7 only mentioned Mary wrapped her son in cloths and placed him in a manger. I am still trying to understand the sentiment of the scene and experience the scent right in the humble arrival. It was so simple yet glazed with such splendour. Can all the fuss of our contemporary Christmas really display it all?!

From a mother's perspective, I wonder how did Mary felt besides the anxiety and excitement anticipating the birth of God's precious One through her. She didn't have a choice to welcome the King in the stable. I would think it was pretty messy too physically but I am pretty sure her heart was merry because she had met God's messenger and prepared for that day in welcoming the Miracle which would give hope to the entire human race. I see her sitting in the mess with a merry mood. Merry is an understatement. Totally awesome. Simple but in great splendour!

There's no way I will be able to clean up every mess in my house, but I certainly praise God for the merry hearts in this home...and my prayer is we will not miss the essence of it all.

Mary didn't have any clean hospital sheets, sterilized medical instruments, skilled obstetrician, fresh smelling air to await her delivery. Nothing seemed organized or clean enough. But she was ready. I want to be like Mary ready for whatever God is birthing forth through me despite the "mess" around me. I want to be ready to catch that miracle promised to me. I want to be ready to capture that moment of joy. I want my heart to have space to welcome the unexpected magnitude of God's promise, and my hands to be ready to catch the evidence of it; and proclaim his glorious acts.

The Silence is Broken

2008-11-28T10:08:00.002+08:00

For three days I've been enjoying quiet days apart from occassional cries of Ashton when he needed some attention. It has been relatively peaceful. I knew I couldn't be too ambitious to do spring cleaning while the three girls were away at Adventure Camp with Daddy. There's so many things I could do, home alone with baby. Cleaning, reorganizing the rooms, read read and read, catch up my sleep...ah, how I need it! Long prayer time. I had to prioritize.

Had to discipline myself to do just enough cleaning so that I would not be too engrossed in it till exhaustion point. Afterall, cleaning is neverending. Ah, it just feel too wasteful to sleep when I can indulge in other luxuries. No heavy cooking. Oats, soy and apple diet - simple and soothing. Made sure I had enough protein and calcium as I nourish Ashton and myself.

A mini retreat. Did some work on computer while baby napped. It was nice to be able to concentrate on some work without any interruption by kids. Oh, and to unwind myself out of the norm - watched DVD. No brain digging tale. Just pure entertainment - High School Musical 1&2 and concert. Those were sweet treat. Though my girls had watched them umpteen times, I sat down for the first time to enjoy the music and the moves. I felt tickled to get moving to the beat too :)

Did I miss them? Oh yes. Indeed. Though it was splendid to enjoy the serenity of the home but a home without kids' noise for three days felt rather empty.

This morning I woke up surrounded by giggling girls with Ashton been the centre of attraction as he had been missed dearly too. The silence of my days is broken...but I feel complete.

A friend once told me a home without children is like a house without garden. That's a beautiful image.

The idiom says, "Silence is Golden".
I say, "Kids' Joyful Noise is Heaven".
King Solomon says, "There's a time for everything".
So balance is good.
Enjoy every moment of life :)

Every Day is Thanksgiving Day

2008-11-27T10:37:00.002+08:00

Particularly in America, people are celebrating Thanksgiving. Just like every event whether Christmas, Mother's Day or Father's Day, Valentine's Day...you name it whatever day...the commercial world loves it to the bit. Another opportunity to demand our attention into gift giving. Absolutely nothing wrong to give and receive a gift from dear ones. But there's so many other ways to demonstrate our love than a physical gift.

Every year I am not spared in thinking of the gift list. Every year I've to keep it simple due to budget. Oh, don't get me wrong. I love to shower people with gifts. Budget is the only problem. "Keeping the main thing the main thing" as my professor and mentor calls it. Never to deviate from the focus of the celebration. Anxiety creeps in whenever the event draws nearer and I want the best for the recipient. I am thinking of Christmas now...

As for Thanksgiving today, many are deliberate in giving thanks. I remember when I was in primary school, every year the pupils were asked to bring something to contribute to the gift baskets for the poor. I would urged my mum to get me something each year. As we were also in the low income category, I remember bringing one or two canned sardine to be added to the pile. I felt so proud as a little girl to be able to do my part. In a convent school, we had mass and thanksgiving session. Perhaps that created an awareness in the little Selina to give thanks although it was not easy to grow up seeing my parents labour when I went to school seeing friends being driven in big cars and stayed in big houses. Ours was a tiny room in a pre-war house that housed more than 20 families. Situated right in the smack of the gangsterism community. Mum would hastily shut the door and windows whenever a fight had been aroused. I never knew how it looked like till I saw the wounds and the intensity of such attacks when I nursed assault cases in the hospital years later. Mum feared for brother. Many boys grew up becoming one of them. I give thanks for God's grace and rescued us. My heart feels deeply for this community.

My baptismal verse became my life verse, Philippians 4:6-7 says:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

In Christ Jesus, I pray and praise,
I give thanks and shall sing in my heart today! Everyday.

The reality - it is not easy to give thanks daily but I purposed in my heart to do so. When I can't shout joyfully, I will hide a song within...and whisper, "God, thank you."

(Thankful I learnt to multi-task. Finished this post while baby nursed and slept in my right arm. In between he soiled himself, my pants and floor! I would scream years ago, but I've learnt to sing :)

Every Grey Cloud Has Silver Lining

2008-11-25T09:47:00.006+08:00

Every grey cloud has a silver lining...how true is this famous saying by poet John Milton! Giving thanks has to be so intentional till it becomes so natural. Aren't we called to give thanks all the time? Good or bad, give thanks! Easy???

My eyes searched behind every grey cloud, and I saw a silver line in each...counting my blessings...

What a lovely baby I hold in my arms each day - for me to soothe, love and care...when I feel like fretting, he smiles at me...aww...
Children has been sick. One after another. Now all! Thankful for the nursing experience I had that made me stay calm and compose as I nurse each one. Oh and the night duty! Good training for mothering now.
Neverending cleaning of the house...hmm...what spacious shelter for the kids to explore!
Homeschooling...spared from rushing kids out of the house each day, and avoiding crazy Penang traffic jams.
Kids' noises throughout the day...but I've been kissed, hugged, loved and reading sweet notes...what else could I ask for?
Work and more work...means I've been trusted.
Tough season never last but tough people do :)

Above all else...thankful to God for listening to every loud and silent prayer. The virtual world's latest fad is micro-blogging...is that something new, I wonder? Perhaps the method seems different but we can practise spiritual micro-blogging...the Father is interested to know every detail in our lives...it's even quicker than technology. No need to create a profile (He knows it all). No need computer or handphone. He is present all the time.

In the Hallway of the Ward

2008-11-22T09:07:00.002+08:00

Walking into any hospital always bring back some memories of my vocation in the past season. More so when it is Lam Wah Ee Hospital where the making of the nurse in me took place.

The hospital has undergone massive extension through the decade. I stood in the hallway of the male ward of the new wing listening to the medical update of our uncle from his son. My eyes couldn't stop roaming about looking at the familiarity of the routine unfolding before me. The nurses dispersed from the nursing station after the report. Another shift of staff had taken over. The busyness of the ward continued. Young faces with pipless uniform eagerly walking through the ward with their report checking on patients. They looked a little aimless and nervous for some. But to the patients they are nurses anyway. There will be certain expectation although they are first year in training. Memories flooded back...

The hospital had been the last place I wanted to be. Its the other side of life I wouldn't want to know as a youngster. Dreams never include that miserable and eerie place. Oh, how I hated the smell of disinfectant! I remember holding my mummy's hand every time I visited hospital. However, at the deciding point of a career, a little voice within prompted me to pursue a vocation that changed my entire outlook in life, my vision and mission and further built the woman I am today. There's a whole barrel of stories stored - lessons learnt, rich experiences and exciting encounters which not only make good memories but strenghten me. Life was not easy in nursing training but looking back, I am so grateful for it although it didn't end the way I had envisioned. Always wanted to teach. So I was going to have the best of both worlds - nursing and teaching...that makes nursing tutor. Coming close to that personal ambition, the Lord called me to full-time ministry in a most incredible way.

Though the years in the hospital wasn't as long as I thought it would be, I know God never make mistake in directing his children's paths. It was in that supposedly miserable place, I saw the other side of life I refused to see, the frailty of life - pain, agony, sorrow, despair, denial, fear, helplessness and hopelessness and walking into the unknown - death's passage for many. There was more than just physical pain...I was positioned there that season to hear the heartbeat of God. It was also in this place I met my Savior - the very first year I entered the hospital. It changed my whole destiny.

Mail...and more mails

2008-11-18T09:48:00.004+08:00

What a great delight to retire for the night and greet each morning with sweet notes posted in my little mailbox on my bedroom door. They are from my girls. Perhaps only daughters do such thing :) Oh, I shall wait a few more years to see if Ashton picks this good habit of writing and sending love notes to me.

Today I thought there isn't any mail for me. Maybe they were too tired to write last night. Instead it was a surprise. At the entrance of the bathroom hung a white piece of paper with the tip flapping gently as though waving to me as I walked pass. Nat's morning note to sweeten my day. A simple note of thanks and gratitude; and blessing for the day.

I was about to sit down for my quiet time with God and it reminded me...to be thankful and grateful to Him just like my girl is towards me. Yes, and blessing the Lord with words of love and asking Him for today's agenda as my girl asked me.

I am anticipating two more mails as the other girls wake up..... :)

Total New Dance

2008-11-16T12:58:00.005+08:00

Dance has always been a part of me ever since young...not that I am old now :) just some years older (smiling to myself). I had wanted so much to do ballet (that's the only dance lesson I knew available at that time, and I think it was and still very much is in this part of the world). Mum would tell me she couldn't afford to send me for any form of extra class; be it tuition, music, ballet or swimming and the list goes on...I used to watch and listened to my friends' accounts of their extra lessons. Fortunately, I must say no tuition was indeed fabulous. Otherwise I would be caught up in a kiasu education life. Yay! Half a day in school is more than enough for a child. That's more than just academic studies in life. Did I feel deprived? No. I've more than enough to cope after school completing homework and housework. Being the eldest there were some responsibilities to help at home and I am grateful for being trusted. That was education itself in helping mum cooked, washed, looked after my siblings and running errands. And yes, I played a lot...letting stories run wild in my mind, pretend play, talking to the mirror (my mum would call me "seow char bor" meaning crazy girl in Hokkien. Who do I talked to? I was always teaching. The cupboard was my blackboard and the mirror image of myself was my students or anyone I was communicating with. Eeks...some people think this is creepy. I think there's a place in the imagination of a child's mind where this thing called 'creativity' lurks. You will never know what can be birthed forth as long as the environment is healthy and conducive for growth. That explains why I always wanted to be a teacher though I ended up being a staff nurse. Later had envisioned to be a nursing tutor which I came close to the ambition then the Lord called me into full-time ministry and this crazy thing called homeschooling when I courted Edward. I thought what a tall order if I marry this radical guy who always have impossible dreams to share. That was more than 10 years ago when homeschooling was quite alien in town.

Amongst many childhood dreams one remain strong in me besides teaching is dance. I was always dancing in my imagination. When I had the money to take lessons, I was too busy taking care of sick patients and now a young troop at home. When I was positioned in the previous church to lead the Creative Arts Ministry, a new dance spring forth in my spirit. It was a totality in my expression of worship for the Creative Creator. There is something about dance that no words or music can express.

Then came the day when Ashlynn was 3 and she begged me to send her for ballet class. I delayed till she was 7 mainly because of budget and by then I thought ballet is too rigid. We still had lots of fun exploring our body movements without structure at home. All we did was dance, dance and dance! We even did our lessons like geography through dance. Oh the magnitude and depth through the power of movements...can you explain? I can't. It was sheer delight for us, mother and daughters. They have always been dancing. A big part of their days is spent making dances. I marvelled at their abundant energy and creativity. Even multiplication is woven into cha-cha moves. Family time is creating funny dance with and for Dad, presenting rumba, foxtrot, or whatever ballroom dance they learnt from Kong Kong (my dad).

A few months ago they were selected to be trained with the Anak-anak Kota group under the programme, Rentak Penang. It is the effort of the Penang Cultural Heritage Programme. Their first showcase explored the celebration of life. Ashlynn and her team celebrated "The Rustling Leaves" and Nathalynn's team displayed the "Colours of Flowers" and others like "Rain" and "Thunder". Ordinary elements yet in all these ring loud and clear the songs of nature through dance.

Last night they presented a mural piece of the scene of a local wet market to some children of shelter homes in conjunction of a belated Deepavali and Hari Raya Celebrations organized by the Rotary Club. Indeed it was an energetic piece of the marketplace. The children had gone to the market to observe and interview local sellers. Their interesting findings were woven into a mural piece which moved from scene to scene - chickens clucking, ducks quaking, slaughtering of the poultry, fishermen bringing in their catch, fights and thefts, daily trading with minimal props. What an interesting piece showcasing a tiny bit of cultural rich Penang!

As I observed my girls passionately bringing their talent out, I smiled to myself...indeed life is a piece of dance. We moved from scene to scene, discovering bit by bit along the way. For me from a rigid ballet-life to a total new dance exploring the many facets of life's beauty together with my eternal dance partner, my Lord.

Just the Little Things

2008-11-13T00:58:00.002+08:00

I dashed into the kitchen to do the final clean-up and put one more load of laundry into the machine before I hung up the first two loads - yes, third load for today as we were away for 2 days at a leaders' retreat. I told Chrisa I needed a shower before I could sit down with her to wrap up the night. I walked into the bathroom and..."Oh, I still have diapers to wash". Chrisa stood by the door and smiled. Her hand held my towel. I whispered, "Thanks, dear. I need to wash these up. Go lie down first." Without fussing she went off.

Felt clean after the shower but came out to find Chrisa had dozed into dreamland next to Ashton who was asleep in the car since we came back from dinner with some special friends. Her little corner was cleared up, much to my delight.

I walked to my computer to find little notes written in complete cursive by Ashlynn and telling me she will be praying for me. That's so sweet to know I'll be remembered in her night prayers. I looked across the room and found some clothes staring at me, waiting to be kept. Hmm...and I thought, "Can work ever finish?" Quickly I cleared them off and was feeling a bit glum then I thought of the little things...Chrisa bringing me the towel without being asked- she noticed I forgot, she cleared the corner and waited patiently tonight, Ashlynn's love note and Nat who slept off by then but had been helpful throughout the day. Seem like little things...but what a difference they made to a mum's heart as I retire for the night.

Give thanks for the little things...they make my heart sing!

Half A Year Already

2008-11-07T01:12:00.006+08:00

Six months flew by just so quickly...my blogging has been in hibernation as you can see the gap. A sudden activation since yesterday. Writing is helpful in aligning my thoughts but somehow I haven't been able to do that for months. Yes, busyness is one thing but not entirely. Who isn't busy living in such a time like this?!

I am so glad I am able to put down some thoughts here. It is a good sign to me personally. It is simply an expression of a relaxed mind. Mental block been purged. A relaxed mind doesn't necessarily mean I am physically free in any way nor nothing to think about mentally. Somehow there's this cognitive liberty - it's like a blockage been drained off. I don't quite understand what happened. But God answers prayers. He let the words flow and it feels like my mind stepped back on track.

The day never ceases to be FULL when one has 4 young children 24/7. There's still laundry unfinished and dishes just cleared. The clock was already 9pm. Baby to be nursed, the girls awaiting for bedtime story and family prayers...but I somehow feel really good tonight even though it took a long hour to complete the night routine with the kids. Ashton was cooing away and trying to "talk" to us while we read the life of Florence Nightingale the second time round...first time for Chrisa. The biography was so inspiring and captured the attention of the girls fully with questions thrown in very often in between my reading by Chrisa who thought it was a very sad tale. Though I've read it so many times about the first nurse but it never fails to strenghten my inner self as I read of her compassion and courage in following God's leading. A good read like this always sparked off discussion as the girls gathered around me. We haven't been able to do that for months. The baby gets priority attention. I am sure the girls were extremely happy too to get mummy read tonight though they have been doing that by themselves most nights.

As we did that, we couldn't stop looking at Ashton as he charmed us with his sweet smile and excited gestures luring us to play with him. Today marked exactly 6 months since he was born. Another milestone in his growth...today he tasted food other than faithful yummy mummy's milk! Not that it is tastier :) Plain porridge for a start. This week he significantly progressed in his crawling movement. He was traveling around the room by rolling for a long while but since yesterday he lifted his right knee to push himself forward. He would then look at us and smile again. I realized he was actually moving pretty fast. This afternoon I rested on the bed and called him. Almost immediately he swam up to me from another end and ducked his head before he gave me his sweetest smile. Oh, I thought how fast he has grown. Memory flashbacks of all the girls' growth. Wasn't it just Ashlynn's, Nathalynn's and then Chrisalynn's...and now Ashton. The images of each of their crawling style came rushing back to my mind...and I thought if only I can preserve every moment. Here today gone the next...I am so thankful I am given this extraordinary privilege to witness these precious moments of life which seem so ordinary. It is the miracle of life.

Florence Nightingale declined fame and glamour. She retreated in her old age to a low profile life. She fought a good fight in Crimean War (not in the battlefield) but for human dignity helping the wounded soldiers. Her quote, "If I can be of any use, here I am". My name may not be recorded under the great men and women list. But here I am...to be used to nurture lives. Such is the power of a mother. I stay contented and satisfied in walking through the milestones with these young ones. And yes, I thank my Father God for knowing my thoughts even when I cannot fully express them rightly...I know He touched me today as He released freedom in my mind.

Mum, You got mail!

2008-11-06T14:36:00.003+08:00

Letter writing is a dying art. The advancement of IT has quicken communication like never before. Shooting an email is just within minutes or even seconds; and we can receive a reply almost immediately. However, with that speed and convenience many of us still find correspondence a real challenge. Then there is chat line, sms...and latest, facebook (though not that new anymore). It is a common question now instead of asking for email address, the phrase will be, "Are you on facebook?" From scribbling down lines of snail mail address to a quick one line email address...now is just knowing your friend's name...and tadaa! You are connected. The power of IT still baffles me. For a long time I refused and also been advised not to get into facebook simply because it is time-consuming. Then one fine day, I was desperate enough to get in touch with friends whom are only accessible through this mode...and so my face and name made way into the web. Indeed I was glad as within days my friend list grew tremendously, locating long lost friends globally without any effort. I am still amazed :) and certainly very pleased.

IT advancement is one great achievement in this fast-paced world. We all can't live without a computer now, can we? Once it was a luxury now a need. Having said that, there's still something about the "old fashion way" which is very captivating to the heart. It is the art of letter-writing. I've always love to write letters and receiving too. The handwriting itself conveys a personal touch. Not to mention the thrill of opening a letter that the postman drops into the mailbox especially from someone dear. And then there's the stamp to enjoy if it's flown from overseas. I remember my Australian pen-pal pasted the whole border of the envelope with stamps of different denominations. They were added into my collection. Oh yes, they are tucked away in my home library now...which had since been passed on to my cousin during his schooldays and now bcak to my home for my own kids to enjoy!

I have resorted to emails, sms, and facebook in order to keep up with the pace. Of course, kinder to the pocket too :) Postage is real expensive now. However, letter-writing continue in my life - right here in my home. It is a norm to write notes to each other in my family. It was intentionally done for many reasons. One being to preserve the art of writing. Amongst others are for teaching purposes. The children learnt to read and write hugely by just doing that from as early as they understand pen and paper concept. From a simple "I love you", "God loves you", "I am sorry"...these notes have progress into long letters...be it love/encouragement, dates with Mum and Dad or even apology letters. We never fail to be thrilled each night or morning to find our personal mailbox contain gems for the hearts (all of us have a mailbox each except for Ashton who shares with Mum now. The girls' are lavished with colours and creative accessories).

Last week had been stressful trying to keep some order at home. Obviously my standard of cleanliness differs from the kids. I have to keep reminding myself. However, I decided to impose some discipline action upon them for certain disorganization. In a nutshell, it was implemented but I was somewhat guilty as I evaluated on my action/reaction. Afterall, kids are kids. They should not be expected to perform to a melancholy adult standard. But there's always this balance I try to strike - truth and grace, which is definitely a challenge. As a mum, it certainly melt my heart as I begin to get love letters from my precious ones expressing their love, respect, apologizing their negligence and shortcomings, and also been transparent about how they felt...and obediently accepted the discipline process. I am so thankful for this art as reading a handwritten letter by a child(ren) and understanding their thoughts help me to put perspective back into my role as a mum. Inevitably it helps me see my own relationship with my Father God. So many times I fail but yet He forgives.

"Mum, you got mail!" This phrase has become an evening tradition. Chrisa cannot wait for me to pick them up. She will excitedly inform me when she sees one or two, or more. This art has been successfully passed down as I watched the girls writing to one another every night. Excitement fills the room while they read their letters. Giggles and more giggles...

The man of the house also has lots of them. In the beginning he didn't know what to do with all those love notes...and now he is learning to respond to them...ahem...he's a man with few words, and so he sends them emails with a concise thought. What do you expect? The girls call Dad a laconic.

Strength! Courage!

2008-11-05T22:53:00.002+08:00

The house is quiet...finally...

Some nights like this I get to enjoy absolutely quiet moments. Is it a luxury or is it a need? Hmm...
Some nights I am just too tired even to stare into space, I will knocked off into dreamland putting either Ashton or Chrisa to sleep, then to awaken in the morning finding myself in another cycle of the day.

Day in day out caring for the needs of children demands ALL of me. Am I complaining? Absolutely not. I believe totally in my calling to be a MUM...and not just mum, but homeschooling mum. Post-modernity in an immense degree has deceived many to believe otherwise. The enemy knows too well that a mother is the key and heart of the family.

Moment like this helps me regain perspective and purpose for my day as God's peace gently rest upon me. For two weeks I've been meditating on Joshua 1:9, "Be strong and courageous". A very concise verse. Do strength and courage come by mere reading of it? Yes, it begins with reading it, but it doesn't and cannot stop there simply because these two words are compelling words. They naturally propel the reader into action. Strength and courage are so needed in this generation in order to make a positive difference.

The more I meditated on it, the more I find myself drawing back to my Source of strength and courage to mother the children my Father entrusted me. Only He knows my limitations. Strength and courage are also demanded in other areas of my life in this season. God never promises life is a bed of roses but He definitely promises His strength and courage to go through each challenge and turn every feat into a magnitude of His faithfulness.

Botanical Gardens

2008-10-24T12:57:00.003+08:00

Green trees sway, and waters rush by.
Squint my eyes when the sunlight shines.

Close my eyes and feel the breeze,
sniff the air, O dear, I sneeze!!

Busy ants scurry by,
In the air were dragonflies.

Monkeys jump from tree to tree,
O my! Look out, they're after me!!

-Nat-

MY HOME IS...

2008-10-24T12:05:00.002+08:00

My home is...

full of books

and cuddly toys.

It's overflowing with love

and God's abundant joy.

Sometimes it's messy

when I am lazy.

Kids make lots of noise

and drive mummy crazy.

But our days are fun and happy

so Chrisa says, "We rejoice!!!!!!"

(The kid poet had some help from mum)

-chrisa-

Faith

2008-07-30T01:05:00.001+08:00

Faith the Christmas Sheep (holding a small bible) belongs to a special child, Chrisa!

Faithzgirl Bible, the long awaited "real" bible of Chrisa - is there a fake bible? To her real bible means a complete version so she can refer to the verses as others do (she wasn't contented with just a kids' bible stories volume).

Chrisa is one creative and imaginative child; never lack of fun and always busy with something. She knotted Faith with her new bible. The sheep was hanging on to the bible everywhere she goes. I thought it added weight and is clumsy for her little hands. So I asked her to remove Faith from the bible. But she responded with a profound statement, "Faith must be connected to the bible!". And insisted it remained that way.

"Let it be, mum."

I was left with the statement hanging over me over the days...indeed faith must be connected to the bible...how else do we feed out faith...it must be fueled with the Word.

Under the Sea

2008-07-15T15:24:00.003+08:00

At the beginning of this month, while in Sabah I had the privillage to do something that I had longed for since my youth - To get under the sea! To be able to dive and observe the wonders of the underwater world. It has always been the cost that hindered me from taking my divers licence. Well, this time I made it a point to live in Kingdom mentality and go ahead to take the open water divers certification. The blessing is that when we choose to live in Kingdom mentality, the King himself provides! In fact, the course in Sabah is very cheap compared to what we get here in Penang, but above that God's hand was in everything. All glory belongs to Him!

From Puffers to the poisonous Stone fish and the Lion Fish , Barracudas, Giant Clamps, Lobsters, Green Turtles, the Yellow Box fish, Angles, Butterflies, Sting Rays and the rare Ghost Pipe fish were the few amazing sights of God's wonderful creation under the sea. The only things that I missed out was to have an underwater camera to capture all the sights. Perhaps next time I go for a dive there will be the provision of an underwater camera.

Together with dive instructor Jason (centre) and my dive buddy Dale from England.

Work is good

2008-07-08T16:28:00.004+08:00

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle,
I just wish that he didn't trust me so much.

-Mother Theresa

I've been stepping on the accelerator of my life for the past two months since Ashton's birth (woah, ya...he's already 2 months' old and put on 2 kg). I hit the climax the past week with Ed's absence - having to hold the fort for home and church. Running on high speed and trying to beat the clock - continuosly from one task to another. I wonder how Susannah Wesley did it in her time!

Tending to unending physical needs of an infant, answering endless questions of a curious barely 5 year-old, and meeting the emotional needs of two preteens...grappling with my own insecurity of 'have I done enough?' for homeschooling...and to top it all up in a tall glass to drink - to preach on Sunday...I survived and thankfully didn't get choked!

I know it full well God's grace is sufficient but I am only human to echo the quote above. I wish there is less to do for now. However after catching my breath today (got some moments to regain my sanity), I know God never make mistake. Whatever He entrusts in my hands, I pray He'll establish each of them for His purpose. As for me, there is no higher calling, no greater honour than to be at service for my Lord and King. I praise and thank God for work!

What is my girl doing?

2008-07-08T14:17:00.003+08:00

The room door was closed when I walked past my daughters' room one morning. It's usual morning routine of breakfast, devotion, house chores and school work. Some times, the girls need some reminders to speed up so we can all finish what need to be done the first part of the day. With baby Ashton around, I left the girls to be independent and responsible for many tasks.

Being a task-oriented person, I opened the door and was about to question Nat on dawdling when I spotted her holding her devotional book. On her door hung a sign which read, "In the progress of creative dreaming....."

I smiled at her, closed the door and thought a little about that phrase.

Perhaps it is in such moments big dreams and visions are birthed, creative ideas flow, and masterpieces produced. This is the essence of homeschooling which I thank God for - the opportunity to allow creativity and not having to rush through when the school bell goes.

Just quite recently, I read that we must learn to waste time with God.

Time with God - ever wasted?

What are we fighting for?

2008-07-06T23:14:00.003+08:00

Life is a battle. Different people fight for different things in life. These few days there's been quite a bit of sibling rivalry at home. I was trying very hard to be as fair in my judgement and treatment as possible to avoid the problem or at least not to contribute to the cause. However, no matter how hard I tried, I wasn't spared this common parenting challenge. It is one tiring feat.

The girls were fighting for the least important things (at least in my opinion). Though they reconciled quickly every time it happened, it still bothered me as a mum. We were driving home and I began sharing some thoughts from a recent Mandarin movie I watched - Three Kingdoms.

It is not such a spectacular show but I was reminded again of my Christian journey - it is a battlefield warred with courage and determination. Zao Zilong (Andy Lau) though wounded declared to his comrades that he will not remove his armour when he is in a battle. He threw his buddy a crucial question, "What are we fighting for?" His buddy's response, "I don't know about you. I am fighting for myself." His buddy betrayed Zilong because his vision was to carve a name for himself. Zilong's cause was to unite the nation. He died with dignity and honour for the cause he fought for.

That is so true for the Christian walk. We cannot and must not remove our armour - Ephesians 6:11 commands us to 'put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.' The whole passage gives details of that armour and with that we stand our ground; and declare our faith fearlessly.

With that I asked my girls how will they channel their energy, what is worth fighting for in life? The challenge lingers in my own mind..."What am I fighting for?"

My Baby Brother

2008-06-11T11:59:00.008+08:00

My baby brother is so cute, so wonderful, and so great.
He's to be a great warrior of God as he grows.
I know it very well.

It seems a little funny.
Only one boy in the house.
With three girls in the family just seems so odd around.

The size of him is like my doll.
From far away he is really small.
But anyway we're a family.
So what's the matter?
Just let it be.

Horton says, "A persons a person no matter how small".

-Nat-

Terrific Ten

2008-05-31T20:09:00.006+08:00

Today I watch a capable young girl adorned with an apron fully occupied in the kitchen. She has made herself available for service as a "kitchen police" this month helping Ah Ma to prepare meals as mum rest in her postnatal month. Every morning she awoke at the break of dawn, cleansed and changed waiting for her marketing date with Kong Kong. She crept into my room, collected the soiled nappies and clothes for laundry. It saved Ah Ma a trip of the tiring staircase.

She sneaked in a corner for her quiet moments with the Lord before she quickly completed her daily academic assignments. In between the day, she grabbed a book for a good read, made a dance with her sisters, played a board game, taught her 4 year-old sister reading, writing and math, practised her times-table with an incredible creative idea - cha-cha moves! She urged her sister to dance along. They had a swell time dancing gracefully while doing math. Times-table was a dreadful feat before this!

The newborn cried...she jumped at the opportunity to carry him. How well she handled him - so much more confident than most adults! She sang her own composition to soothe him and he calmed down at the sound of the melody as he snuggled in her arms. She is a big sister for the third time.

She helped Ee Ee with the Sunday school preparation before she pulled out all that she needed to bake her own birthday cake. She has always been a leader. I watched her gave orders to her sisters who eagerly wanted to help with the baking. They baked a chocolate cake which was later coated with Betty Crocker's rich and creamy chocolate topping. She carefully sprinkled the silver beads to create a figure of 10 and lots of almond nuts around it. I could see a satisfied look on her face.

It has been a decade since she was born, making me a very proud mum! It seems like a wink of an eye. The day I held her for the first time, I cried the tears of joy and then a gush of anxiety flooded me. Suddenly such a big responsibility was entrusted into my hands. I've been enrolled into the School of Motherhood - an enormous volume of life training modules with no certificates nor graduation; but blessed with a life-time of divine exchanges.

I held in my hands a precious gift from heaven.

I have every reason to be thankful as I watch her grow from a tiny tot to a terrific ten. Ashlynn - the strong and beautiful is 10 today!

In My Father's Hands

2008-05-18T19:40:00.006+08:00

Being a fourth time mum, I kind of expected what entails in a labour process...just that I have no say in the timing of baby's arrival. I never reach - not anything near to my expected date of deliveries. All my girls came really early with one premature baby of 29 weeks. Even though I quite expected this fourth offspring will also be early but on one hand prayed that he will be carried to term.

Gateway City Church first church camp ended with my session on "fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross". I stood there heavily pregnant preaching what God had laid in my spirit. As I urged the church to look ahead at Jesus our focal point, I was also reminded no matter how difficult and heavy I felt with my small frame supporting a growing baby at 33 weeks plus in gestation, my comfort was to endure for the sake of the joy set before me. Soon...yes, soon I will be holding my baby tangibly in my hands. Interestingly during the night before, I dreamt I had given birth but awaken at night only to rub on my existing protruded abdomen realizing it was just a dream. Somehow dreams have been significant in many of my life's stories. Deep down my heart I knew he was coming.

Indeed it was fast. The night I returned from camp, I went into labour. I was so ready to deliver, but my doctor wasn't, being a preterm case again! I was transfered to another bigger hospital just in case baby require neonatal ICU care. All necessary treatment were administered. I was left completely contraction free the entire day time and lying down in the labour room talking to God and claiming His promises. I had read earlier in Isaiah 66:7-8 which declares:

"Before she goes into labour, she gives birth;

before the pains come upon her,

she delivers a son.

Who has ever heard of such a thing?

Who has ever seen such things?"

No. Never, unless one uses medical intervention. Though I knew I cannot escape labour pain yet this portion of scriptures was very comforting and I boldly asked God for his miraculous intervention. I confessed the Word throughout and hold it dearly in my heart. God had walked me through every childbirth; and each has its own story of his faithfulness. The nurses always marvelled at my childbirth processes - fast and easy. They would tell me I should have more babies! And I laid in the labour room wondering what would be the story this time?!

Since my nursing days, I've watched patients using epidural. However, in the recent years this medical technology has caught up significantly with many educated women requesting it in order to be pain-free. Never did it crossed my mind to ever ask for it all these years. Had always thought the labour process is part of the beauty of motherhood. For some reason, as I await this round, I was wondering if I should try epidural this time to compare and perhaps come to a conclusion of certain thoughts of the debate of the usage of epidural. My smart husband smiled at me and threw back the question to me, "If you've asked God for a miracle, why do you need epidural?" Afterall, I never used in the past 3 times. Hmm, I was left with abandoning myself in my Father's Hands again. Surely he will take me through it once again. I empathized with the women in the next rooms. I could only whispered prayers for them as they groaned and cried in labour...and then rejoiced with them silently when I heard the cries of every newborn.

The night came and I began experiencing some mild contraction. It was getting more frequent and I knew the labour couldn't be prolong till the next day anymore. I informed the nurse and she checked on me regularly and commented perhaps my threshold of pain is high as my response had always been "bearable". But I believe it was my Father's Hands holding me. I was in full control of my situation, composed and washed by God's peace. Then...the much awaited moment...the bearing down sensation came upon me but unbelievably mild compared to all my past experiences! I told the nurse "baby's coming"...the obstetrician and Ed arrived shortly. Withing less than 15min, a son was born unto us...and he shall be called, Ashton - the strong fortress or settlement, the supplicant; "I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfil his purpose for me" (Psalm 57:2 NLT).

The Lord released his word in Isaiah 66:7-8. I watched the word come to pass. Although not completely without pain but significantly less in intensity. Tremendously less that I could still talk and discuss with the nurse during the bearing down sensation (which I remember were the worst part of labour for me in the past 3). Indeed a miracle. Who needs epidural when carried in our Father's Hands? And preterm Ashton is doing great at 2.4kg and ruled out the need of respirator and incubator. All because we were in His Hands.

Prince Ashton Arrives Before Prince Caspian!

2008-05-15T18:07:00.001+08:00

The Lynns has been looking forward eagerly to the movie, "Prince Caspian" after their craze over "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe". We are into the last 3 chapters of this classic literature and getting ready to enjoy the visual effects and seeing the unfolding of the book at the big screen; then plunging into an adventurous unit study on it. Every night, they will excitedly sit around mum for this bedtime reading and tapping over my tummy to talk to sayang. Yep, sayang had no choice but to 'join in listening'.

Every time we passed by the billboard of Prince Caspian...Chrisa never fails to remind us of the classic hitting the cinema in town on May 16. However, another prince decided to race in first taking over Prince Caspian as he has been quietly listening all this while.....he arrived 6 weeks earlier than expected on May 6!

Announcing the early arrival of Prince Ashton (Lynns' sayang)!

You think Prince Caspian is cool? Here's one cool pic of Prince Ashton with his "first sunglass" - sunbathing under the phototherapy :)

"Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of the warrior are sons born in one's youth." - Psalm 127:3-4

The Gold...

2008-03-29T20:25:00.004+08:00

...Is the Cheese.

Cheese to us(dad,ash,chrisa and me) are gold. We are crazy about cheese. When mom went to Australia, she brought back so much cheese that it filled the chiller.

:)12 blocks ,can you imagine!!

She brought back many kinds of cheese, like...Fruit Cheese(melon and mango, cranberry, almond and apricot) we will love to share with you some cheese,if you like cheese!!!

-nat-